It's been a holiday tradition around here that our Stollen ends December as our top-selling product of the year. Looking at it back at the start of December, I didn't think it stood a chance, as we'd sold so many Chocolate and Vanilla Birthday Cakes.
It managed to eclipse the Vanilla Birthday cake at the start of this week, but I'm sad to report that we're 17 Stollen sales short of unseating the mighty Chocolate Birthday Cake.
Now there are still a few days left in this month, and I know that when people have a taste of Stollen on Christmas morning, they're going to want more, so we're extending our send two and pay shipping for one discount through the end of the year.
And lest you think this is some old Stollen we're trying to get rid of, we sold all but two of this week's batch, and we're making more for our retail store in Winchester, so they're nice and fresh. It's just as delicious on New Year's Day--or as an appetizer or buffet item at those New Year's Eve parties you're planning.
Just 17 Stollen. I'm sure we can do it.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Blogola
Seems I touched a nerve yesterday with the defenders of paid posting in blogs. It's not every day that I get called "small," "bitter," and "mean-spirited," to use the more polite names hurled at me. Apparently some people are fine with selling their integrity, but they don't like it when you call them on it.
And before I go any further here, I'd like to offer an apology to Sandra at the Work at Home Newsletter, who sould not have received one of my comments yesterday. I made a point of not commenting on any blog that clearly labeled its posts as paid. Sandra doesn't flag the individual posts, but she does clearly--and rather eloquently--defend her position in a link in her bio.
I don't agree with her position, nor do I agree with the position put forward by Eric Lituchy, the president of Delightful Deliveries (who shall have his company referred to by its proper name from here on out for taking the time to respond).
They both make the same argument: "Newspaper and magazine writers get paid to write about products and companies, so what's the difference?" Speaking as a former newspaper journalist, managing editor for a regional film magazine, and newspaper owner, I've looked at this issue from more angles than most people, and I can say that there's a world of difference.
Yes, journalists get paid to write about products and services, but they don't get paid by the providers of those products and services. Any journalist in America who took money from a company to write a review would be fired on the spot. Journalists' opinions are not for sale. If they were, newspapers would be nothing but advertising sheets, and nobody would read them. Anyone who's studied journalism knows this, and I count a great many reporters and editors among my friends who would never take a cent for their opinion, because they know that doing so would destroy their credibility.
I'm also a radio host, and this situation calls to mind the payola scandals that surfaced in the 1950s and again in the last two years. Record companies paid disc jockeys to play certain albums, either through cash or gifts, thus unfairly influencing the Top 40 charts. The situation got so out of hand that the Federal Communications Commission got involved, and anyone who works in radio now has to sign an agreement that he or she will not accept any gift or cash payment to play any song or promote any artist.
Pay per post is nothing more than blogola, and I'm hardly alone in my condemnation of it. John Fine at BusinessWeek (a legitimate journalist), summed up the outrage at blogola in a June article entitled, "Polluting the Blogosphere," which features this rather telling quote from PayPerClick.com's Ted Murphy: "You can't believe anything you see or read." There was a time, Mr. Murphy, when you could, and it's people like you that are destroying our faith in the media. Mr. Murphy jumped into the Comments fray over at Naked Conversations, if you'd like to enjoy more of his "wisdom."
Marshall Kirkpatric at TechCrunch puts his opinion succinctly: "TechCrunch does not accept payment for posts." The words of a true journalist.
In the interest of offering some balance, Mark Woodman at inkBlots makes the argument that the blogosphere doesn't have much credibility anyway, so why not have at it? I think that's a bit of a cyncial view, because bloggers have been instrumental in breaking some major news stories to the mainstream press. The bigger question here is why don't we have more credibility? Maybe because people are selling their opinions and not telling their readers about it?
If you disclose the status of paid postings, plainly and clearly, I can almost live with it. If you don't, it's blogola. Either way, wouldn't you be better off seeling some things on eBay? Because while you're making a few bucks a post, you're also showing readers that, as Ted Murphy says, "You can't believe anything you see or read." That devalues your genuine posts, along with the blogosphere in general.
I hope that clarifies my opinion on this in a way that's not too mean-spirited.
As for the accusation that I deliberately went after a competitor, that's true. I make no claims toward being unbiased here--read anything I've written about our products--but I do not, and would not, under any circumstances, allow someone to buy my support in any blogging endeavor.
And to that end, I'd like to quote Mr. Lituchy:
"What I've asked, through PayPerPost, is that bloggers go to our website or be customers in order to write a blog about DelightfulDeliveries.com. I believe this is essential to our post otherwise it would be junk. I've also asked for bloggers to review the site. While they are only paid if the post is postive, bloggers are free to write whatever they like. I think that is were you are missing the point."
I think you just made my point, when you said, "they are only paid if the post is positive." That's the point where ethics get thrown out the window in favor of making a buck, and that's why journalists get paid by newspapers, not advertisers. If you paid equally for a negative review, then there's no problem, so why not start doing that? We run negative reviews on our site, right next to the product descriptions, because we value the honest opinions of our customers. I can't seem to find any reviews on DelightfulDeliveries.
By and large, Mr. Lituchy, you run a good business that's an example for the industry. Why would I chastise you for looking for an innovative way to promote your business? Because you only pay for the good reviews, and that's unethical from a journalist's perspective. You're buying links instead of earning them on merit, and you're contributing to the distrust readers have of the commentary found on blogs, which is bad for the entire blogosphere.
I think your company is above this kind of behavior. You're a category leader in part because you've taken an honest approach on your site and in your promotion, apart from this bit of blogola. My hope is that you'll see this as I and many concerned bloggers and journalists see it, and that you'll also understand that while this may be an easy way to get blog recognition now, it will hurt your ability to have legitimate bloggers write about you in the long run.
And before I go any further here, I'd like to offer an apology to Sandra at the Work at Home Newsletter, who sould not have received one of my comments yesterday. I made a point of not commenting on any blog that clearly labeled its posts as paid. Sandra doesn't flag the individual posts, but she does clearly--and rather eloquently--defend her position in a link in her bio.
I don't agree with her position, nor do I agree with the position put forward by Eric Lituchy, the president of Delightful Deliveries (who shall have his company referred to by its proper name from here on out for taking the time to respond).
They both make the same argument: "Newspaper and magazine writers get paid to write about products and companies, so what's the difference?" Speaking as a former newspaper journalist, managing editor for a regional film magazine, and newspaper owner, I've looked at this issue from more angles than most people, and I can say that there's a world of difference.
Yes, journalists get paid to write about products and services, but they don't get paid by the providers of those products and services. Any journalist in America who took money from a company to write a review would be fired on the spot. Journalists' opinions are not for sale. If they were, newspapers would be nothing but advertising sheets, and nobody would read them. Anyone who's studied journalism knows this, and I count a great many reporters and editors among my friends who would never take a cent for their opinion, because they know that doing so would destroy their credibility.
I'm also a radio host, and this situation calls to mind the payola scandals that surfaced in the 1950s and again in the last two years. Record companies paid disc jockeys to play certain albums, either through cash or gifts, thus unfairly influencing the Top 40 charts. The situation got so out of hand that the Federal Communications Commission got involved, and anyone who works in radio now has to sign an agreement that he or she will not accept any gift or cash payment to play any song or promote any artist.
Pay per post is nothing more than blogola, and I'm hardly alone in my condemnation of it. John Fine at BusinessWeek (a legitimate journalist), summed up the outrage at blogola in a June article entitled, "Polluting the Blogosphere," which features this rather telling quote from PayPerClick.com's Ted Murphy: "You can't believe anything you see or read." There was a time, Mr. Murphy, when you could, and it's people like you that are destroying our faith in the media. Mr. Murphy jumped into the Comments fray over at Naked Conversations, if you'd like to enjoy more of his "wisdom."
Marshall Kirkpatric at TechCrunch puts his opinion succinctly: "TechCrunch does not accept payment for posts." The words of a true journalist.
In the interest of offering some balance, Mark Woodman at inkBlots makes the argument that the blogosphere doesn't have much credibility anyway, so why not have at it? I think that's a bit of a cyncial view, because bloggers have been instrumental in breaking some major news stories to the mainstream press. The bigger question here is why don't we have more credibility? Maybe because people are selling their opinions and not telling their readers about it?
If you disclose the status of paid postings, plainly and clearly, I can almost live with it. If you don't, it's blogola. Either way, wouldn't you be better off seeling some things on eBay? Because while you're making a few bucks a post, you're also showing readers that, as Ted Murphy says, "You can't believe anything you see or read." That devalues your genuine posts, along with the blogosphere in general.
I hope that clarifies my opinion on this in a way that's not too mean-spirited.
As for the accusation that I deliberately went after a competitor, that's true. I make no claims toward being unbiased here--read anything I've written about our products--but I do not, and would not, under any circumstances, allow someone to buy my support in any blogging endeavor.
And to that end, I'd like to quote Mr. Lituchy:
"What I've asked, through PayPerPost, is that bloggers go to our website or be customers in order to write a blog about DelightfulDeliveries.com. I believe this is essential to our post otherwise it would be junk. I've also asked for bloggers to review the site. While they are only paid if the post is postive, bloggers are free to write whatever they like. I think that is were you are missing the point."
I think you just made my point, when you said, "they are only paid if the post is positive." That's the point where ethics get thrown out the window in favor of making a buck, and that's why journalists get paid by newspapers, not advertisers. If you paid equally for a negative review, then there's no problem, so why not start doing that? We run negative reviews on our site, right next to the product descriptions, because we value the honest opinions of our customers. I can't seem to find any reviews on DelightfulDeliveries.
By and large, Mr. Lituchy, you run a good business that's an example for the industry. Why would I chastise you for looking for an innovative way to promote your business? Because you only pay for the good reviews, and that's unethical from a journalist's perspective. You're buying links instead of earning them on merit, and you're contributing to the distrust readers have of the commentary found on blogs, which is bad for the entire blogosphere.
I think your company is above this kind of behavior. You're a category leader in part because you've taken an honest approach on your site and in your promotion, apart from this bit of blogola. My hope is that you'll see this as I and many concerned bloggers and journalists see it, and that you'll also understand that while this may be an easy way to get blog recognition now, it will hurt your ability to have legitimate bloggers write about you in the long run.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Dishonest? You Decide
It's nice when bloggers write about businesses they like. After all, bloggers are impartial, everyday people, right? That makes them worthy of our trust.
Or does it? The folks at Pay Per Post seem to think, with some level of success if their new round of $3 million in venture financing is any indication, that the opinions of bloggers are for sale. Here's how it works: You sign up with them, decide which companies you're willing to blog for, and you get cash, either a single payout or, in some cases, affiliate referral fees.
In other words, MAKE FAST CASH WITH YOUR BLOG!!!!, without all that tedious mucking about in AdSense. immomsdaughter claims to be having a "love affair" with the service. Who can blame her? Where else but in America can your integrity be sold for $4 a post?
I'm afraid my integrity costs a bit more than that, in the sense that no amount of money in the world would ever posess me to write favorably about a company just to make a buck. The concept is a slap in the face at the integrity of bloggers everywhere, but if you happen to feel a twinge of remorse at selling yourself out for less than even beer money, they've got a little disclaimer you can add to your blog to explain that you've sold yourself out for less than beer money.
This came to my attention after a bunch of posts about Delightful Deliveries showed up in the blogosphere, all with the same images. It took me all of two seconds to realize that these people were being duped into becoming marketing shills for some small green.
But hey, it takes time to search out and solicit legitimate blogs and try to get them to write about you, and even if you send them some free samples, you can't control what they write. They might say something negative. Let's bypass all that hard work and risk by bribing Suzy Homemaker with a couple of bucks. She's too stupid to understand what we're doing here, and she's sure to sell out.
More reprehensible behavior from the snake oil salesmen who've found their new footing in the online world. It won't be long before the blogosphere is crammed with useless blogs full of this crap. People in China spend more time clicking on links for a smaller payout.
I'm appalled, and any bloggers out there who respect what little integrity the blogosphere retains should be similarly appalled. It's predatory, dishonest, and despicable, and companies like Despicable Deliveries that utilize this service betray their "anything for a buck" ideals.
Before this gets too far out of hand, let me make two suggestions to the responsible bloggers among us:
1. If you see this stuff on someone's blog, leave a comment asking them if they realize they've sold themselves for a pittance.
2. Google, take action now to filter out any blog results that contain these paid placement posts. You've got parasites feeding off Blogger's success and making it harder for those of us who try to publish legitimate blogs to be found.
Edit: It seems I spoke not soon enough on that last point. Run a search on "Delightful Deliveries" in Google Blog Search, and by the time you hit Page 5, it's almost all spam.
Or does it? The folks at Pay Per Post seem to think, with some level of success if their new round of $3 million in venture financing is any indication, that the opinions of bloggers are for sale. Here's how it works: You sign up with them, decide which companies you're willing to blog for, and you get cash, either a single payout or, in some cases, affiliate referral fees.
In other words, MAKE FAST CASH WITH YOUR BLOG!!!!, without all that tedious mucking about in AdSense. immomsdaughter claims to be having a "love affair" with the service. Who can blame her? Where else but in America can your integrity be sold for $4 a post?
I'm afraid my integrity costs a bit more than that, in the sense that no amount of money in the world would ever posess me to write favorably about a company just to make a buck. The concept is a slap in the face at the integrity of bloggers everywhere, but if you happen to feel a twinge of remorse at selling yourself out for less than even beer money, they've got a little disclaimer you can add to your blog to explain that you've sold yourself out for less than beer money.
This came to my attention after a bunch of posts about Delightful Deliveries showed up in the blogosphere, all with the same images. It took me all of two seconds to realize that these people were being duped into becoming marketing shills for some small green.
But hey, it takes time to search out and solicit legitimate blogs and try to get them to write about you, and even if you send them some free samples, you can't control what they write. They might say something negative. Let's bypass all that hard work and risk by bribing Suzy Homemaker with a couple of bucks. She's too stupid to understand what we're doing here, and she's sure to sell out.
More reprehensible behavior from the snake oil salesmen who've found their new footing in the online world. It won't be long before the blogosphere is crammed with useless blogs full of this crap. People in China spend more time clicking on links for a smaller payout.
I'm appalled, and any bloggers out there who respect what little integrity the blogosphere retains should be similarly appalled. It's predatory, dishonest, and despicable, and companies like Despicable Deliveries that utilize this service betray their "anything for a buck" ideals.
Before this gets too far out of hand, let me make two suggestions to the responsible bloggers among us:
1. If you see this stuff on someone's blog, leave a comment asking them if they realize they've sold themselves for a pittance.
2. Google, take action now to filter out any blog results that contain these paid placement posts. You've got parasites feeding off Blogger's success and making it harder for those of us who try to publish legitimate blogs to be found.
Edit: It seems I spoke not soon enough on that last point. Run a search on "Delightful Deliveries" in Google Blog Search, and by the time you hit Page 5, it's almost all spam.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Now How Did That Happen?
Site development is an imprecise science, in much the same way that computers are an imprecise science--they work often enough that we tolerate them without too much complaint.
For those who've never done this before, relaunching a Web site involves taking the existing site, moving it to a development server, upgrading it, then moving everything back. Since it's an imprecise science, some things can get lost along the way, like our separate Cakes and Tarts categories, which seem to have morphed back into Cakes, Pies, and Tarts, ruining all the bookmarks you've set.
Now I'm going to ruin them again by putting things back the way they should be. No more Category changes after this one for the rest of the year. Promise.
For those who've never done this before, relaunching a Web site involves taking the existing site, moving it to a development server, upgrading it, then moving everything back. Since it's an imprecise science, some things can get lost along the way, like our separate Cakes and Tarts categories, which seem to have morphed back into Cakes, Pies, and Tarts, ruining all the bookmarks you've set.
Now I'm going to ruin them again by putting things back the way they should be. No more Category changes after this one for the rest of the year. Promise.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Major Changes
Today marks the culmination of almost a year's worth of development for us here at 1-800-Bakery.com, as we unveil the biggest public-facing part of our newly enhanced site. Pick a product, any product, and take a look at the calendar at the bottom of the page. Not only will it tell you when things will arrive, it will allow you to compare shipping methods and pick the delivery service that offers you the best price.
The new calendar also allows us to bring back Monday delivery, this time with a much larger group of products than were previously available. It also allows us the flexibility to introduce seasonal items earlier and keep them available on the site longer. Plus, it explains why certain shipping options aren't available for certain days of the week, and automatically blacks out days when there's no shipping.
It may look simple, but as you can see, it does a lot, and it's been a lot of work getting it to do all the things it needs to do. We think it's the best calendar-based ordering system online, and we'd love to know your thoughts. Love it? Hate it? Leave me a comment.
Over the next two weeks, we'll be rolling out additional enhancements. Some of them you'll see, some of them will just work quietly in the background to make life easier for our Bakery Partners. As with any site enhancements, there may be the odd moment of downtime or something that doesn't quite work the way it should. If you experience any problems with our new site, please call us at 1-800-287-9870, and we'll resolve them as quickly as we can.
The new calendar also allows us to bring back Monday delivery, this time with a much larger group of products than were previously available. It also allows us the flexibility to introduce seasonal items earlier and keep them available on the site longer. Plus, it explains why certain shipping options aren't available for certain days of the week, and automatically blacks out days when there's no shipping.
It may look simple, but as you can see, it does a lot, and it's been a lot of work getting it to do all the things it needs to do. We think it's the best calendar-based ordering system online, and we'd love to know your thoughts. Love it? Hate it? Leave me a comment.
Over the next two weeks, we'll be rolling out additional enhancements. Some of them you'll see, some of them will just work quietly in the background to make life easier for our Bakery Partners. As with any site enhancements, there may be the odd moment of downtime or something that doesn't quite work the way it should. If you experience any problems with our new site, please call us at 1-800-287-9870, and we'll resolve them as quickly as we can.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thanksgiving Desserts
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays--number two to Christmas most years--but let's face it, if you're cooking dinner like I am, it's a ton of work. Other people might be out watching football, but I'm straining to pay attention to the Macy's parade while I'm buttering and stuffing an obstinate turkey.
One of the great things about this job is that I don't have to give a second thought to dessert. Chef Steve shows up with a variety of pies from La Patisserie, and everyone gets a slice of their favorite. After spending all day checking on the bird and making sure the squash is cooked, the mashed potatoes aren't lumpy, and the onions aren't cooked to mush, it's nice to know that I don't have to jump up after my second bite of stuffing and make sure that a pie is cooking.
I can't say enough for letting someone else make dessert, and we've got some good ones. No, we don't have the tradtional pies online, but if you're near the Winchester, Massachusetts area, we've got them in our store--stop by and order by November 20, please, or call 781-729-9441 and we'll be happy to help you.
We do have petits fours, cookies, our fabulous, amazing, astounding Turkey Cookie Centerpiece (pricey, but very impressive), pumpkin cheesecake, and pumpkin and pecan tarts. You'll find them all on our Thanksgiving Desserts page.
Without going back and rereading all my old posts (mildly amusing but largely painful), I'm pretty sure I promised to have pies by this Thanksgiving. I tried to find some--oh, how I tried, knowing that I could hardly call this a full-service bakery site if we couldn't meet your pie needs.
Then we got caught up in a site development cycle, and football season began. So no pies.
But we've got tarts! Tarts, I say! Really extraordinary tarts. And what is a tart, if it's not a pie in a butter cookie shell with a saucier name? And let's admit it--you're sick of pie in the same way that you're sick of turkey year after year. So once you've ordered your Turducken, why not order a tart? I've even made that easier for you by setting things up so you can get two of our pecan or Rum Pumpkin tarts and pay shipping for one, as long as they're going to the same address. If you're expecting a big crowd, that'll save you money, money that you'll need when you realize on Thanksgiving day that you're out of Bell's Poultry Seasoning and have to go buy some at the gas station, which has opportunistically stocked it for the holidays.
One of the great things about this job is that I don't have to give a second thought to dessert. Chef Steve shows up with a variety of pies from La Patisserie, and everyone gets a slice of their favorite. After spending all day checking on the bird and making sure the squash is cooked, the mashed potatoes aren't lumpy, and the onions aren't cooked to mush, it's nice to know that I don't have to jump up after my second bite of stuffing and make sure that a pie is cooking.
I can't say enough for letting someone else make dessert, and we've got some good ones. No, we don't have the tradtional pies online, but if you're near the Winchester, Massachusetts area, we've got them in our store--stop by and order by November 20, please, or call 781-729-9441 and we'll be happy to help you.
We do have petits fours, cookies, our fabulous, amazing, astounding Turkey Cookie Centerpiece (pricey, but very impressive), pumpkin cheesecake, and pumpkin and pecan tarts. You'll find them all on our Thanksgiving Desserts page.
Without going back and rereading all my old posts (mildly amusing but largely painful), I'm pretty sure I promised to have pies by this Thanksgiving. I tried to find some--oh, how I tried, knowing that I could hardly call this a full-service bakery site if we couldn't meet your pie needs.
Then we got caught up in a site development cycle, and football season began. So no pies.
But we've got tarts! Tarts, I say! Really extraordinary tarts. And what is a tart, if it's not a pie in a butter cookie shell with a saucier name? And let's admit it--you're sick of pie in the same way that you're sick of turkey year after year. So once you've ordered your Turducken, why not order a tart? I've even made that easier for you by setting things up so you can get two of our pecan or Rum Pumpkin tarts and pay shipping for one, as long as they're going to the same address. If you're expecting a big crowd, that'll save you money, money that you'll need when you realize on Thanksgiving day that you're out of Bell's Poultry Seasoning and have to go buy some at the gas station, which has opportunistically stocked it for the holidays.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Top Ten Update
I haven't seen a product move so quickly into the Top Ten as our Halloween Cookies did this year. They're the big hit this season, and the good news is that they'll be available for your treating needs until Friday.
If you're looking to order any of our other Halloween items, act fast. Orders will close for our Halloween Gift Baskets on Wednesday at 2PM. Halloween Petits Fours will be available only until noon on Wednesday for second-day air delivery, and noon on Thursday for Overnight delivery. Two-for-one shipping will be available on the petits fours as long as they're in stock.
Next year, Halloween is on a Wednesday, and all of this is much easier. In the meantime, here's our Top 10 Products:
1. Chocolate Birthday Cake (complete party kit) -- still the reigning champion of baked goods. Coming soon to a college campus near you--and if you need to send one to a school, take a look at our Ten Easy Steps to Successful School Shipping, which will make your life easier whenever you order something online.
2. Vanilla Birthday Cake (complete party kit) -- gaining in popularity, we now sell three of these four every four Chocolate Birthday cakes. Did you know that you don't have to get the Party Kit? If you know the recipient has plenty of plates and serving stuff, use the Coupon Code NOPARTY at checkout. We'll leave out the party kit, and you'll save $5.
3. Stollen -- it's not quite Stollen season yet, but we're baking fresh batches, and they're every bit as good as they were last year. Why not get an early start on enjoying this year-end favorite? Strong birthday cake sales mean that our Stollen has a long way to go to reclaim the top-selling spot this Christmas, and I'm counting on you to help it get there.
4. Croissants -- a perennial favorite--did you know that you can order custom assortments? Want all plain? No problem. Don't like the Raspberry ones? No problem. How about a dozen with six plain and six chocolate? We've done all of that. Just tell us what you'd like in the Comments section when you place your order. It takes us an extra day or two to put together custom assortments, depending on the breakdown, but we're happy to make them.
5. Demitasse Party Petits Fours -- still riding high from their appearance in Shop Etc. and InStyle, and you can send up to three boxes and pay shipping for one. Look for the Christmas version of these in late November.
6. Halloween Cookies -- at every holiday, something breaks out and becomes the must-have item for our customers. Last year it was our Jack-O-Lantern Cookie, which sold out almost as soon as it appeared on the site. This year, it's our Halloween Minis. Maybe it's the buy up to three tubs and pay shipping for one option, or maybe it's just the Ozzy Osbournesque thrill of biting the head off a bat without the unpleasant rabies shots afterward.
7. Baby Boston Coffee Cakes -- Do you need a corporate gift for a small office? Maybe something for someone who really loves coffee cake? These are the perfect choice, which is why they're always in the Top 10.
8. Sugar-Free Low-Carb Flourless Chocolate Cake -- who says you can't have cake? Lots of folks have had this cake, and they love it. Chocolate emerges victorious against all other varieties once again.
9. Gourmet Cookies Gift Assortment -- we actually sold out of these for more than a week when we got hit with a lot--and I mean a lot--of orders. We wound up using every bit of cookie dough we had in the bakery and had to order the ingredients to make more. They're back now, and while we'd love to run out again, we'll do our best to avoid that.
10. Lemon Lulu Cake -- just because summer is over, that doesn't mean you lemon lovers out there need to surrender your desire for this cake. They're made fresh straight through the winter months, and they make a very tasty Thanksgiving dessert for those who avoid pie.
If you're looking to order any of our other Halloween items, act fast. Orders will close for our Halloween Gift Baskets on Wednesday at 2PM. Halloween Petits Fours will be available only until noon on Wednesday for second-day air delivery, and noon on Thursday for Overnight delivery. Two-for-one shipping will be available on the petits fours as long as they're in stock.
Next year, Halloween is on a Wednesday, and all of this is much easier. In the meantime, here's our Top 10 Products:
1. Chocolate Birthday Cake (complete party kit) -- still the reigning champion of baked goods. Coming soon to a college campus near you--and if you need to send one to a school, take a look at our Ten Easy Steps to Successful School Shipping, which will make your life easier whenever you order something online.
2. Vanilla Birthday Cake (complete party kit) -- gaining in popularity, we now sell three of these four every four Chocolate Birthday cakes. Did you know that you don't have to get the Party Kit? If you know the recipient has plenty of plates and serving stuff, use the Coupon Code NOPARTY at checkout. We'll leave out the party kit, and you'll save $5.
3. Stollen -- it's not quite Stollen season yet, but we're baking fresh batches, and they're every bit as good as they were last year. Why not get an early start on enjoying this year-end favorite? Strong birthday cake sales mean that our Stollen has a long way to go to reclaim the top-selling spot this Christmas, and I'm counting on you to help it get there.
4. Croissants -- a perennial favorite--did you know that you can order custom assortments? Want all plain? No problem. Don't like the Raspberry ones? No problem. How about a dozen with six plain and six chocolate? We've done all of that. Just tell us what you'd like in the Comments section when you place your order. It takes us an extra day or two to put together custom assortments, depending on the breakdown, but we're happy to make them.
5. Demitasse Party Petits Fours -- still riding high from their appearance in Shop Etc. and InStyle, and you can send up to three boxes and pay shipping for one. Look for the Christmas version of these in late November.
6. Halloween Cookies -- at every holiday, something breaks out and becomes the must-have item for our customers. Last year it was our Jack-O-Lantern Cookie, which sold out almost as soon as it appeared on the site. This year, it's our Halloween Minis. Maybe it's the buy up to three tubs and pay shipping for one option, or maybe it's just the Ozzy Osbournesque thrill of biting the head off a bat without the unpleasant rabies shots afterward.
7. Baby Boston Coffee Cakes -- Do you need a corporate gift for a small office? Maybe something for someone who really loves coffee cake? These are the perfect choice, which is why they're always in the Top 10.
8. Sugar-Free Low-Carb Flourless Chocolate Cake -- who says you can't have cake? Lots of folks have had this cake, and they love it. Chocolate emerges victorious against all other varieties once again.
9. Gourmet Cookies Gift Assortment -- we actually sold out of these for more than a week when we got hit with a lot--and I mean a lot--of orders. We wound up using every bit of cookie dough we had in the bakery and had to order the ingredients to make more. They're back now, and while we'd love to run out again, we'll do our best to avoid that.
10. Lemon Lulu Cake -- just because summer is over, that doesn't mean you lemon lovers out there need to surrender your desire for this cake. They're made fresh straight through the winter months, and they make a very tasty Thanksgiving dessert for those who avoid pie.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Shopping.com: A bunch of liars
Deceptive advertising really ticks me off. You've got enough misinformation to sort through without some "marketing genius" trying to mislead you when you want to buy something.
Boohoo Search Marketing apparently does a much poorer job than Google of protecting it's advertisers' interests. Case in point: This new ad from the liars at shopping.com:
1 800 Bakery at Shopping.com
Find, Compare and Buy 1 800 Bakery. Choose from Thousands of stores.
www.shopping.com
I won't dignify the rats at lying.com with a link. You shouldn't dignify them with your business, because, as I've said many times, if someone's going to lie to you, how can you trust anything they say?
Here's an honest statement:
We are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with the liars who run shopping.com. You will not find our products there, only lies.
That should get the point across. The filthy lying liars at lying.com need to stop buying ads on our company name and misleading our customers. Boohoo Search Marketing ought to do a better job of preventing this. I've rewritten our ad in Boohoo, and I'm fully expecting a rejection for "trademark violation," at which point a lovely conversation will begin with them about why one company is allowed to break the rules and another isn't.
You can rest assured that I'll post every word.
Boohoo Search Marketing apparently does a much poorer job than Google of protecting it's advertisers' interests. Case in point: This new ad from the liars at shopping.com:
1 800 Bakery at Shopping.com
Find, Compare and Buy 1 800 Bakery. Choose from Thousands of stores.
www.shopping.com
I won't dignify the rats at lying.com with a link. You shouldn't dignify them with your business, because, as I've said many times, if someone's going to lie to you, how can you trust anything they say?
Here's an honest statement:
We are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with the liars who run shopping.com. You will not find our products there, only lies.
That should get the point across. The filthy lying liars at lying.com need to stop buying ads on our company name and misleading our customers. Boohoo Search Marketing ought to do a better job of preventing this. I've rewritten our ad in Boohoo, and I'm fully expecting a rejection for "trademark violation," at which point a lovely conversation will begin with them about why one company is allowed to break the rules and another isn't.
You can rest assured that I'll post every word.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
All Comedy Is Local
I'm normally above using this blog for shameless self-promotion, but since I know there's a few of you out there who enjoy my humorous take on things, I'd like to let you know that you can get a quick fix at votegerry.cf.huffingtonpost.com, where I've posted an excerpt from my Campaign for Governor speech.
It's work-safe and contains a few good laughs, so I've been told.
Meanwhile, to justify this waste of corporate time, I should remind you that we've got all kinds of Halloween Treats available for your gift-giving and seasonal snacking needs. In my oh-so-unbiased opinion, the Jack-O-Lantern Cookie and Halloween Candy Cake are two of the coolest things you'll find anywhere online this season.
It's work-safe and contains a few good laughs, so I've been told.
Meanwhile, to justify this waste of corporate time, I should remind you that we've got all kinds of Halloween Treats available for your gift-giving and seasonal snacking needs. In my oh-so-unbiased opinion, the Jack-O-Lantern Cookie and Halloween Candy Cake are two of the coolest things you'll find anywhere online this season.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Combating Chinese Click Fraud
If you're following the latest news, there's a good chance that you came across the BusinessWeek story on click fraud in the current issue. I've been involved in a battle of my own on this issue that runs beyond the scope of their article, so I thought I'd share the story.
We started looking at our server logs after a quarterly report showed around 12% of our traffic was coming from China. We don't sell our products in China, and we've only had a couple of orders sourced from that part of the world. I knew it was fraud as soon as I saw the numbers.
The traffic was coming from a handful of sites, listed here so that you can see if they're showing up on your own servers:
http://aries-search.com/index.php
http://buddah-search.com/index.php
http://800-search.com/index.php
http://www.hit2seek.com/
http://www.agafra.com/
If you look at these sites, on most of them you'll see the same text: "80% bid, $5 payout," which should be your cue that you're dealing with fraud. Here's how they work: These "search engines" are actually scraping content from pay-per-click (PPC) campaigns. They sign people up to sit and click links all day, then give the clickers a portion of the revenue generated from the clickthroughs--in the case above, 80% of the payout on the clickthrough (if you're unfortunate enough to wind up on these sites, you'll see the value of the click to the clicker) up to $5.
Imagine an Internet cafe filled with people clicking away on your ads to make a few pennies. That's what you're up against.
Since I was batting a thousand on instinct, I decided to blame Google AdWords. They've had problems in the past, the search terms that were coming up had been pulled from Boohoo Search Marketing, and the traffic was out of line with our daily bill from MSN.
That decision lowered my instinct average to .500. If I'd thought about it, I would have realized that Google could not be the culprit. We've taken steps to prevent this from happening, including limiting our ads to the United States and opting out of the Content Network. I sent Google an apology after I heard back from them, one that I'll reiterate here. It wasn't Google--they've done right by us so far.
I did a little research based on the landing pages the fraudsters were seeing. As it turned out, all of the fraudulent clicks were coming from two second-tier advertising networks that I'd forgotten about--ePilot and Miva. I suspended our accounts with both providers, and sent an e-mail explaining the situation to ePilot, but I haven't heard anything back from them. I'll assume that's because they're busy finding ways to stop these fraudulent clicks.
What tipped me off was the ads that were appearing on these click fraud engines. I always vary the copy from ad to ad, partly to A/B test, and partly so I know where the traffic is coming from.
With the accounts disabled, the fraudulent Chinese traffic disappeared. I'm still keeping an eye out for it, but so far we're clear. It wasn't a huge amount of money, but anyone in small business knows that a penny lost to fraud is a penny better spent on promotion.
With that in mind, I'd like to offer the following Five Tips for Combating Click Fraud:
We started looking at our server logs after a quarterly report showed around 12% of our traffic was coming from China. We don't sell our products in China, and we've only had a couple of orders sourced from that part of the world. I knew it was fraud as soon as I saw the numbers.
The traffic was coming from a handful of sites, listed here so that you can see if they're showing up on your own servers:
http://aries-search.com/index.php
http://buddah-search.com/index.php
http://800-search.com/index.php
http://www.hit2seek.com/
http://www.agafra.com/
If you look at these sites, on most of them you'll see the same text: "80% bid, $5 payout," which should be your cue that you're dealing with fraud. Here's how they work: These "search engines" are actually scraping content from pay-per-click (PPC) campaigns. They sign people up to sit and click links all day, then give the clickers a portion of the revenue generated from the clickthroughs--in the case above, 80% of the payout on the clickthrough (if you're unfortunate enough to wind up on these sites, you'll see the value of the click to the clicker) up to $5.
Imagine an Internet cafe filled with people clicking away on your ads to make a few pennies. That's what you're up against.
Since I was batting a thousand on instinct, I decided to blame Google AdWords. They've had problems in the past, the search terms that were coming up had been pulled from Boohoo Search Marketing, and the traffic was out of line with our daily bill from MSN.
That decision lowered my instinct average to .500. If I'd thought about it, I would have realized that Google could not be the culprit. We've taken steps to prevent this from happening, including limiting our ads to the United States and opting out of the Content Network. I sent Google an apology after I heard back from them, one that I'll reiterate here. It wasn't Google--they've done right by us so far.
I did a little research based on the landing pages the fraudsters were seeing. As it turned out, all of the fraudulent clicks were coming from two second-tier advertising networks that I'd forgotten about--ePilot and Miva. I suspended our accounts with both providers, and sent an e-mail explaining the situation to ePilot, but I haven't heard anything back from them. I'll assume that's because they're busy finding ways to stop these fraudulent clicks.
What tipped me off was the ads that were appearing on these click fraud engines. I always vary the copy from ad to ad, partly to A/B test, and partly so I know where the traffic is coming from.
With the accounts disabled, the fraudulent Chinese traffic disappeared. I'm still keeping an eye out for it, but so far we're clear. It wasn't a huge amount of money, but anyone in small business knows that a penny lost to fraud is a penny better spent on promotion.
With that in mind, I'd like to offer the following Five Tips for Combating Click Fraud:
- Avoid second-tier advertising networks. Stick with the Big Three.
- Opt out of international placements and content-network placements in your campaigns. If you can't do this (Boohoo Search Marketing, I'm looking at you) then carefully consider your ad spend.
- Vary text between different PPC providers, so you can track sources.
- Watch your server logs for suspect traffic.
- Immediately suspend any account that generates suspect traffic. Print a copy of the server log and keep it in case you need to file a claim for a refund.
Friday, September 22, 2006
It's That Holiday Closing Time of Year
As we head into the autumn months, we've got a few holidays coming up that will affect our delivery schedule. Take a moment to check the dates below before you place your order.
October 2, 2006--Yom Kippur
Bittersweet Pastries and Steve's Mom will be closed to celebrate the holiday. There will be no deliveries from either of these bakeries on Tuesday, October 3, and orders for delivery on Wednesday, October 4 must be sent Overnight.
All of our other partner bakeries will be open and operating on a normal delivery schedule. If you really, really need a birthday cake on October 2, please call me at 1-800-287-9870 by 12PM on September 27, and I'll be happy to get one out to you.
October 9, 2006--Columbus Day
1-800-Bakery.com will be open and on a regular delivery schedule.
Looking a little further ahead, we'll be open as usual on Veteran's Day, and closed on Thanksgiving and the Friday following Thanksgiving.
We'll also be moving our ordering deadline ahead as we get closer to Thanksgiving, so that we can manage the volume of orders that come to us during that time of year. I'll have more details about that in the coming weeks.
October 2, 2006--Yom Kippur
Bittersweet Pastries and Steve's Mom will be closed to celebrate the holiday. There will be no deliveries from either of these bakeries on Tuesday, October 3, and orders for delivery on Wednesday, October 4 must be sent Overnight.
All of our other partner bakeries will be open and operating on a normal delivery schedule. If you really, really need a birthday cake on October 2, please call me at 1-800-287-9870 by 12PM on September 27, and I'll be happy to get one out to you.
October 9, 2006--Columbus Day
1-800-Bakery.com will be open and on a regular delivery schedule.
Looking a little further ahead, we'll be open as usual on Veteran's Day, and closed on Thanksgiving and the Friday following Thanksgiving.
We'll also be moving our ordering deadline ahead as we get closer to Thanksgiving, so that we can manage the volume of orders that come to us during that time of year. I'll have more details about that in the coming weeks.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Where Did the English Muffins Go?
If you're looking for New English Muffins, you're out of luck for the next couple of weeks. They're in the process of moving to a new facility and can't accept any online orders. They should be back soon, and I'll let you know once we hear some news.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Categorically Speaking
One last bit of tweaking to our catalog that will ruin the best bookmarking intentions of our customers. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry--but it makes the site easier to use, so you'll like it in the long run.
And I'm done with these changes for the year. Promise.
The biggest change is in the navigation on the right-hand side of the page. The too-inclusive Cakes, Pies, and Tarts category has been split in two. Cakes now houses all of our layer cakes, coffee cakes, and cheesecakes. A little further down the page, Pies and Tarts is home to our Tarts, which Chef Steve assures me will be joined by pies in time for Thansgiving.
If you've got a favorite place for pies, please send me an e-mail at derek@1-800-bakery.com, and I'll make sure the bakery gets considered.
The product categories are also alphabetized now. It's more sensible than the old system, which was ranked by popularity and product variety.
Finally, just in time for Thursday's NFL Kickoff, our Football Cookies are back in stock. A tub of these will satisfy any armchair quarterback, and we've decided to extend our multiple-quantity shipping discounts on all of our mini cookies, so you can send up to three tubs and pay shipping for one.
And I'm done with these changes for the year. Promise.
The biggest change is in the navigation on the right-hand side of the page. The too-inclusive Cakes, Pies, and Tarts category has been split in two. Cakes now houses all of our layer cakes, coffee cakes, and cheesecakes. A little further down the page, Pies and Tarts is home to our Tarts, which Chef Steve assures me will be joined by pies in time for Thansgiving.
If you've got a favorite place for pies, please send me an e-mail at derek@1-800-bakery.com, and I'll make sure the bakery gets considered.
The product categories are also alphabetized now. It's more sensible than the old system, which was ranked by popularity and product variety.
Finally, just in time for Thursday's NFL Kickoff, our Football Cookies are back in stock. A tub of these will satisfy any armchair quarterback, and we've decided to extend our multiple-quantity shipping discounts on all of our mini cookies, so you can send up to three tubs and pay shipping for one.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Shop Ahead and Save
As I mentioned last week, the coming of cooler weather lets us bring back Second Day Air shipping on our cakes and tarts from Bittersweet Pastries. On the down side, that means that Overnight shipping is going back up to $27, because we're not getting the discount that let us reduce that shipping price anymore.
I like to say "order ahead" a lot. It's a good idea when you're buying gifts online, and if you can add an extra day to your delivery time, it'll save you $11.
All of this business with shipping options gets confusing, and we're working to make things even simpler when you place an order with us. You should see the results of that by the end of this month.
I like to say "order ahead" a lot. It's a good idea when you're buying gifts online, and if you can add an extra day to your delivery time, it'll save you $11.
All of this business with shipping options gets confusing, and we're working to make things even simpler when you place an order with us. You should see the results of that by the end of this month.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Last Chance to Save
I'm passing along a little bit of secret insider information here that's useful only to those in the following situation: You know someone who's celebrating a birthday on Wednesday or someone who'd just like to have a very nice layer cake on Wednesday or you know someone who's celebrating a birthday on a Tuesday in September.
If this applies to you, place your order by Monday morning, because Second-Day Air shipping will return for almost all of our Layer Cakes on Labor Day. If you can wait an extra day for the cake, you can send it for a mere $16.00.
On the downside, the summer special we negotiated will also end on Monday, so Overnight shipping goes back up to $27.00. Yes, I know gas prices are coming down, but have you seen how much butter costs these days? That's a bigger factor with us.
Any orders placed before 10AM on Monday will get the $19.95 Overnight shipping rate, and we'll still offer two-for-one shipping on our tarts.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy Labor Day weekend.
If this applies to you, place your order by Monday morning, because Second-Day Air shipping will return for almost all of our Layer Cakes on Labor Day. If you can wait an extra day for the cake, you can send it for a mere $16.00.
On the downside, the summer special we negotiated will also end on Monday, so Overnight shipping goes back up to $27.00. Yes, I know gas prices are coming down, but have you seen how much butter costs these days? That's a bigger factor with us.
Any orders placed before 10AM on Monday will get the $19.95 Overnight shipping rate, and we'll still offer two-for-one shipping on our tarts.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy Labor Day weekend.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tiny Things That May Annoy You
I hate to do this, but about once a year it needs to be done. I'm making some changes to product names to better reflect what they are. That means that some of you may lose your bookmarks. Blue Birthday Cake Cookie is a much better name than "Blue Birthday Butter Cookie," don't you think?
The irony here is that I'm making it harder for some people to find things so that I can make it easier for them to find things.
We're still keeping an eye on Tropical Whatever It Is Right Now Ernesto. If you've got something going to the Atlantic coast, be aware that delivery may be delayed by a few hours as our shipping partners wait out the storm.
The irony here is that I'm making it harder for some people to find things so that I can make it easier for them to find things.
We're still keeping an eye on Tropical Whatever It Is Right Now Ernesto. If you've got something going to the Atlantic coast, be aware that delivery may be delayed by a few hours as our shipping partners wait out the storm.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Labor Day and Ernesto
We're keeping an eye on Hurricane Ernesto as it heads toward Florida. In general, we've learned that shipping tends to be suspended the day a hurricane hits, so please keep that in mind if you're thinking of sending something down there. Any long-term problems will be reported on our Delivery Disruptions page.
This Monday is Labor Day, which means a lot of people who aren't me will get the day off. Our shipping partners are closed, so we won't be able to deliver anything on Tuesday, September 5. If you place an order later this week, please note the delivery dates below:
Second-Day Air
Orders placed after 2PM Eastern on Wednesday, August 30 will arrive on Thursday, September 7.
Overnight
Orders placed after 2PM Eastern on Thursday, August 31, will arrive on Wednesday, September 6.
All orders placed between September 1 and September 4 will ship on Tuesday, September 5, unless you tell us you'd like them at a later date.
This Monday is Labor Day, which means a lot of people who aren't me will get the day off. Our shipping partners are closed, so we won't be able to deliver anything on Tuesday, September 5. If you place an order later this week, please note the delivery dates below:
Second-Day Air
Orders placed after 2PM Eastern on Wednesday, August 30 will arrive on Thursday, September 7.
Overnight
Orders placed after 2PM Eastern on Thursday, August 31, will arrive on Wednesday, September 6.
All orders placed between September 1 and September 4 will ship on Tuesday, September 5, unless you tell us you'd like them at a later date.
It's a Changing Time O'Year
The end of August brings with it many things, like autumn cookie assortments and the start of a new school year. It also means that lots of seasonal products for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas will be available soon. Keep an eye on our Seasonal Treats page, which will be updated on the 1st and the 15th of the next few months with new cookie and collections.
We've also added some new categories to Shop by Occasion. Sympathy Gifts, Get Well Soon, and Baby and Bridal Showers list our most popular selections in each of these areas. Everything on our Showers page is eligible for a shipping discount as an added bonus.
Finally, there's some changes in store for this blog. Regular readers (if any) know that I tend to alternate between site-specific news and marketing-specific news. The new Blogger Beta will allegedly allow me to separate those areas out into different categories, so the folks who like the food stuff can get the food stuff, and the folks who like the marketing stuff can get that. I'm also taking the opportunity to redesign the blog a little and possibly incorporate some features found on my radio show's blog. (I'm thinking of the weather and the RSS feeds, not the funny headlines).
Does that mean you'll get twice as much content? No, just the opposite. It means I'll essentially have two blogs that get updated less often than this single one did.
So if the blog goes down for a bit or you log on and it's a mess, just check back later. My CSS skills aren't what they could be.
We've also added some new categories to Shop by Occasion. Sympathy Gifts, Get Well Soon, and Baby and Bridal Showers list our most popular selections in each of these areas. Everything on our Showers page is eligible for a shipping discount as an added bonus.
Finally, there's some changes in store for this blog. Regular readers (if any) know that I tend to alternate between site-specific news and marketing-specific news. The new Blogger Beta will allegedly allow me to separate those areas out into different categories, so the folks who like the food stuff can get the food stuff, and the folks who like the marketing stuff can get that. I'm also taking the opportunity to redesign the blog a little and possibly incorporate some features found on my radio show's blog. (I'm thinking of the weather and the RSS feeds, not the funny headlines).
Does that mean you'll get twice as much content? No, just the opposite. It means I'll essentially have two blogs that get updated less often than this single one did.
So if the blog goes down for a bit or you log on and it's a mess, just check back later. My CSS skills aren't what they could be.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
So what's hot?
Not the weather anymore, not around here at least, which is a pleasant relief. You'll be happy to know that cheesecakes and petits fours are again making their way safely to baked-good lovers all over this great nation of ours.
During the heat wave, cookies were our most popular seller. My feeling is that nobody's sitting around on a 95-degree day saying, "Hey, let's have some more of that layer cake with the buttercream frosting." I've known people in the ice cream business, and even they will concede that too much heat is bad for business.
The recent surge of cookie sales has brought them into the Top 10 products for the first time. It's been a while since I've done one of these, and celebrating the arrival of the cookie on the list seemed like a good excuse.
Our Top 10 Sellers
1. Chocolate Birthday Cake (complete party kit)--It is a force of nature, repelling all who would dare challenge its supremacy as King of All Baked Goods. It is the mighty Chocolate Birthday Cake.
2. Vanilla Birthday Cake (complete party kit)--Should the Chocolate Birthday Cake be unable to complete its duties as King of All Baked Goods for any reason, the Vanilla Birthday Cake will assume the office.
3. Croissants--So light, so flaky, so very French. These were another popular heat-wave item. Don't skip breakfast just because it's hot.
4. Demitasse Party Petits Fours--It never hurts sales to have your product featured in InStyle and Shop, Etc. Two-for-one shipping doesn't hurt, either.
5. Baby Boston Coffee Cakes--They're like regular coffee cakes, but they're cuter because they're small. Why choose between Blueberry Blizzard and Chocolate Explosion when you can have both?
6. Sugar-Free Low-Carb Flourless Chocolate Cake--The cake with the name so long, I can't fit it all into our catalog. Chocolate again trumps all other varieties in the flavor wars.
7. King Cake--We've tried limiting delivery to Thursday and Friday. We took it off the site because of the heat. But people still love our genuine New Orleans King Cake. They'll be available again in mid-September, and in case you're wondering why we stopped selling them, each cake is baked fresh and shipped overnight. The sugar frosting doesn't like the heat, so we have to wait for cooler temperatures before we can start shipping them.
8. Lemon Lulu Cake--We sold a lot of these at Father's Day, so there must be a lot of lemon-loving Dads out there. It's also a great summer cake, without sugary icing to weigh you down.
9. Cinnamon Walnut Coffee Cake--It's coffee's best friend. The Chocolate Birthday Cake of the Coffee Cake world. A traditional flavor, yes, but one that stands the test of time and keeps the IT guys from gnawing off their own hands during those marathon coding sessions.
10. Gourmet Cookies Gift Assortment--Cookies in the Top 10? Cookies in the Top 10! Take a bow, you chunk-filled treats. You've attained a place that the Biscotti and Bacca di Montagnia cake can only dream of. You'll be kicked out of the limelight once Stollen returns in October, but until then, bask in the glory. You've earned it.
During the heat wave, cookies were our most popular seller. My feeling is that nobody's sitting around on a 95-degree day saying, "Hey, let's have some more of that layer cake with the buttercream frosting." I've known people in the ice cream business, and even they will concede that too much heat is bad for business.
The recent surge of cookie sales has brought them into the Top 10 products for the first time. It's been a while since I've done one of these, and celebrating the arrival of the cookie on the list seemed like a good excuse.
Our Top 10 Sellers
1. Chocolate Birthday Cake (complete party kit)--It is a force of nature, repelling all who would dare challenge its supremacy as King of All Baked Goods. It is the mighty Chocolate Birthday Cake.
2. Vanilla Birthday Cake (complete party kit)--Should the Chocolate Birthday Cake be unable to complete its duties as King of All Baked Goods for any reason, the Vanilla Birthday Cake will assume the office.
3. Croissants--So light, so flaky, so very French. These were another popular heat-wave item. Don't skip breakfast just because it's hot.
4. Demitasse Party Petits Fours--It never hurts sales to have your product featured in InStyle and Shop, Etc. Two-for-one shipping doesn't hurt, either.
5. Baby Boston Coffee Cakes--They're like regular coffee cakes, but they're cuter because they're small. Why choose between Blueberry Blizzard and Chocolate Explosion when you can have both?
6. Sugar-Free Low-Carb Flourless Chocolate Cake--The cake with the name so long, I can't fit it all into our catalog. Chocolate again trumps all other varieties in the flavor wars.
7. King Cake--We've tried limiting delivery to Thursday and Friday. We took it off the site because of the heat. But people still love our genuine New Orleans King Cake. They'll be available again in mid-September, and in case you're wondering why we stopped selling them, each cake is baked fresh and shipped overnight. The sugar frosting doesn't like the heat, so we have to wait for cooler temperatures before we can start shipping them.
8. Lemon Lulu Cake--We sold a lot of these at Father's Day, so there must be a lot of lemon-loving Dads out there. It's also a great summer cake, without sugary icing to weigh you down.
9. Cinnamon Walnut Coffee Cake--It's coffee's best friend. The Chocolate Birthday Cake of the Coffee Cake world. A traditional flavor, yes, but one that stands the test of time and keeps the IT guys from gnawing off their own hands during those marathon coding sessions.
10. Gourmet Cookies Gift Assortment--Cookies in the Top 10? Cookies in the Top 10! Take a bow, you chunk-filled treats. You've attained a place that the Biscotti and Bacca di Montagnia cake can only dream of. You'll be kicked out of the limelight once Stollen returns in October, but until then, bask in the glory. You've earned it.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
More Fun with Yahoo!
You know what I love about the Internet? It's the way our stressful workaday lives have been eased through the valuable assortment of online tools that deliver information to our fingertips. Compiling sales and marketing reports used to require wading through piles of data and converting it into a usable form. Now, one merely needs to set the date range and all becomes clear.
Unless, of course, you're using Yahoo! Search Marketing, hereafter to be known as Boohoo! Search Marketing for the anguish it causes each time I dare to make sense of its bewildering interface and substandard tools.
Today, I made the mistake of trying to figure out what my pay-per-click keywords have been doing over the past year. Simple enough in Google--just set the date range, and the data magically appears. MSN's AdCenter won't let me specify a date range, but they will give me year-to-date data, which is just as useful. Truth be told, that functionality might be there, but there was a friendly dropdown menu offering me a good approximation of what I wanted, so I used it.
I saved Boohoo! for last, expecting, rightfully so, to be frustrated and defeated by their interface. Their 20-minute automatic logout "feature" also turns every Boohoo! adventure into a fast-paced game of Beat the Clock that I need to postpone until late in the day out of concern for the well-being of my coworkers and anyone else who might be in earshot.
For a change, clicking on the "Reports" link actually took me someplace helpful, and I could find the account report I wanted. I entered my date range, and waited for the report to appear.
Instead of getting a report, I received the following error message:
The date range is limited to 95 days.
Wow! A whole 95 days of tracking! Just what I needed for those quarterly reports. Unfortunately, I'm working on an annual report, so 95 days doesn't do me a damn bit of good. Had I known that my reports were limited to 95 days, I might have set up a system to download and compile them every quarter. I also might have done the smart thing and never gotten involved with Boohoo! Search Marketing.
This lack of functionality is a joke, right? There's another link somewhere I can click where it says, "We were just kidding," and gives me the data, right? No? Well at least it should be fast when I request my quarterly reports, right? One 90-day date range later, instead of a report, I get this message:
Your request is currently being processed. To obtain your report, return to this page and enter your request again. If the request has been completed, the report will be displayed at that time.
Awesome! Low functionality and slow response times! It's like tripping back in time to the 28.8 modem days. And the best thing is, every time you click on the little calendar icon to change the date range, it defaults to today's date! Think of the fun you'll have trying to figure out what the heck you're trying to do as Boohoo! error messages fill your screen--and by "fill," I mean appear in tiny, almost unreadable text.
And to think Boohoo! is working overtime to release the new and improved version of Search Marketing. Guys, you can't make a diamond any more perfect. Please, I beg you, leave the damn thing alone, subcontract to Google!, and let the rest of us get some work done.
Unless, of course, you're using Yahoo! Search Marketing, hereafter to be known as Boohoo! Search Marketing for the anguish it causes each time I dare to make sense of its bewildering interface and substandard tools.
Today, I made the mistake of trying to figure out what my pay-per-click keywords have been doing over the past year. Simple enough in Google--just set the date range, and the data magically appears. MSN's AdCenter won't let me specify a date range, but they will give me year-to-date data, which is just as useful. Truth be told, that functionality might be there, but there was a friendly dropdown menu offering me a good approximation of what I wanted, so I used it.
I saved Boohoo! for last, expecting, rightfully so, to be frustrated and defeated by their interface. Their 20-minute automatic logout "feature" also turns every Boohoo! adventure into a fast-paced game of Beat the Clock that I need to postpone until late in the day out of concern for the well-being of my coworkers and anyone else who might be in earshot.
For a change, clicking on the "Reports" link actually took me someplace helpful, and I could find the account report I wanted. I entered my date range, and waited for the report to appear.
Instead of getting a report, I received the following error message:
The date range is limited to 95 days.
Wow! A whole 95 days of tracking! Just what I needed for those quarterly reports. Unfortunately, I'm working on an annual report, so 95 days doesn't do me a damn bit of good. Had I known that my reports were limited to 95 days, I might have set up a system to download and compile them every quarter. I also might have done the smart thing and never gotten involved with Boohoo! Search Marketing.
This lack of functionality is a joke, right? There's another link somewhere I can click where it says, "We were just kidding," and gives me the data, right? No? Well at least it should be fast when I request my quarterly reports, right? One 90-day date range later, instead of a report, I get this message:
Your request is currently being processed. To obtain your report, return to this page and enter your request again. If the request has been completed, the report will be displayed at that time.
Awesome! Low functionality and slow response times! It's like tripping back in time to the 28.8 modem days. And the best thing is, every time you click on the little calendar icon to change the date range, it defaults to today's date! Think of the fun you'll have trying to figure out what the heck you're trying to do as Boohoo! error messages fill your screen--and by "fill," I mean appear in tiny, almost unreadable text.
And to think Boohoo! is working overtime to release the new and improved version of Search Marketing. Guys, you can't make a diamond any more perfect. Please, I beg you, leave the damn thing alone, subcontract to Google!, and let the rest of us get some work done.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Lowering Your Cost of Living
As Ben Bernanke and the Federal Reserve meet over the next few days, everyone will be focused on the rising cost of living in America. Here at 1-800-Bakery.com, we're doing something to help.
Thanks to our growth, we're able to negotiate discounts with our suppliers, which allows us to offer $19.95 Overnight shipping on all of our cakes and tarts from Bittersweet Pastries. That's a savings of seven dollars and change over our old Overnight rate, and one of the best values on the Web.
To compare, the FREE shipping liars offer their nine-inch cake for $69.99. Our ten-inch cake, which serves more people, costs $68.90. These prices will be in effect until Second-Day Air shipping returns, assuming it ever cools off around here, anticipated for late September.
You can take the seven bucks you save and buy some more gas, knowing that you're getting the same great cake, customer service, and reliable shipping, just for less money.
It's our way of trying to help lower your cost of living. Our hope is that Ben Bernanke will take note of our efforts and leave interest rates unchanged. If he does, you can thank us for helping to stabilize the American economy, and there's no better way to do that than by buying a nice cake or tart.
Thanks to our growth, we're able to negotiate discounts with our suppliers, which allows us to offer $19.95 Overnight shipping on all of our cakes and tarts from Bittersweet Pastries. That's a savings of seven dollars and change over our old Overnight rate, and one of the best values on the Web.
To compare, the FREE shipping liars offer their nine-inch cake for $69.99. Our ten-inch cake, which serves more people, costs $68.90. These prices will be in effect until Second-Day Air shipping returns, assuming it ever cools off around here, anticipated for late September.
You can take the seven bucks you save and buy some more gas, knowing that you're getting the same great cake, customer service, and reliable shipping, just for less money.
It's our way of trying to help lower your cost of living. Our hope is that Ben Bernanke will take note of our efforts and leave interest rates unchanged. If he does, you can thank us for helping to stabilize the American economy, and there's no better way to do that than by buying a nice cake or tart.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
The Heat Goes On
Have I mentioned that there are Portuguese Man O'War stinging people off the coast of New England? That's how hot it is. Over the weekend, temperatures rose over 110 degrees in parts of California.
The heat's proven too much for our Petits Fours Package Collection to bear. We sent some to Yuma, Arizona. Some of them melted. We sent some more to Yuma, Arizona, (free of charge, because we offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee) and some of those melted. Between the two boxes, the customer had enough for her party, which was good. Temperatures were well over 100 in Yuma at the time, and while that isn't the case everywhere, it's hot enough in enough of the country that we've decided to keep them off the site for a week or so.
If you need petits fours, our Demitasse Party Petits Fours are still available, and they're durable enough to take the heat. They're what we in the business call "shelf stable," which means they can be stored for a time without refrigeration.
The Package Collection is still available, but we're shipping them on a case-by-case basis until things cool down. If you'd like to order some, please call us at 1-800-287-9870 and we'll see if we can get them to you. If you're placing an order for Septemeber 1 and beyond, no problem, just give us a call.
If, like me, you're wondering when this scorching summer will be just an upleasant memory, you'll be happy to know that our Back to School Mini Cookies return on August 1, a sure sign that autumn is coming. That also means that our Spring Mini Cookies will soon be gone, so if you're in need of flowers and ladybugs, be sure to order some soon.
The heat's proven too much for our Petits Fours Package Collection to bear. We sent some to Yuma, Arizona. Some of them melted. We sent some more to Yuma, Arizona, (free of charge, because we offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee) and some of those melted. Between the two boxes, the customer had enough for her party, which was good. Temperatures were well over 100 in Yuma at the time, and while that isn't the case everywhere, it's hot enough in enough of the country that we've decided to keep them off the site for a week or so.
If you need petits fours, our Demitasse Party Petits Fours are still available, and they're durable enough to take the heat. They're what we in the business call "shelf stable," which means they can be stored for a time without refrigeration.
The Package Collection is still available, but we're shipping them on a case-by-case basis until things cool down. If you'd like to order some, please call us at 1-800-287-9870 and we'll see if we can get them to you. If you're placing an order for Septemeber 1 and beyond, no problem, just give us a call.
If, like me, you're wondering when this scorching summer will be just an upleasant memory, you'll be happy to know that our Back to School Mini Cookies return on August 1, a sure sign that autumn is coming. That also means that our Spring Mini Cookies will soon be gone, so if you're in need of flowers and ladybugs, be sure to order some soon.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Is Yahoo! Editing Your PPC Campaigns?
I'm beyond frustrated right now as I find myself in Day 2 of undoing the damage that Yahoo! Search Marketing editors have done to my PPC campaign. I wasn't even aware of this until yesterday, when I started modifying our existing PPC ads with new conversion tracking code.
There, among the ads I'd written, were things with titles like, "Affordable Gourmet Gift Baskets" and "Buy Great Cookies at Low Prices." If you're at all familiar with this site, which Yahoo's "editors" clearly aren't, then you know that we don't use words like "affordable," "low prices," or "discount" to sell our products.
In fact, we told Yahoo! this when they sent us a proposed list of keywords, which included the above offending terms along with the ever-popular "cheap." Who wants cheap gourmet cookies? Anyone? Anyone?
Compounding the problem was a series of ads I don't recall creating with URLs pointing to our home page instead of the appropriate category pages on the site. Here's an example:
That conversion code doesn't work with any of our tracking programs. Every one of the suspect ads featured this URL, so my advice to anyone out there running a PPC campaign is to sort through your ads (good luck with their terrible interface, which sets a new benchmark for lack of usability), look for that URL, and see if they've been playing with your campaigns.
I'm infuriated about this on two levels:
1. Yahoo! has misrepresented our site with claims of "amazing prices" and directed potential customers to the home page instead of appropriate landing pages. We paid money for every click generated by these fradulent ads, so we handed somebody cash to make us look bad.
2. I now have to spend my valuable time undoing the damage caused by this editorial tinkering. The deeper I look into what they've done, the more problems I discover.
Once I saw what was going on, I sent them the following e-mail:
I did get a prompt reply, as follows (edited to remove identifying account information):
Gee, thanks, Mark, I'll be sure to put a spreadsheet together for you guys. If I'm putting that much effort into it, I might as well make the edits myself. Here's a better idea for future reference: Don't mess around with my campaigns. I don't have to take this aggravation from Google or MSN, and if an ad agency or PR firm ever did this to me, I'd fire them on the spot and sue for breach of contract.
We're in the process of reviewing our logs to determine how much of this unqualified traffic came to our site, and I'm considering whether or not we'll continue to maintain a relationship with Yahoo! Search Marketing.
To the rest of the marketing folks and Web masters out there, let me again advise you to carefully check your campaigns and make sure you're getting the traffic you're supposed to be paying for.
UPDATE:
I've taken 29 listings offline because the descriptions and/or titles contained "low prices," "affordable prices," or "amazing prices," three phrases I would NEVER use to drive qualified traffic to the site.
There, among the ads I'd written, were things with titles like, "Affordable Gourmet Gift Baskets" and "Buy Great Cookies at Low Prices." If you're at all familiar with this site, which Yahoo's "editors" clearly aren't, then you know that we don't use words like "affordable," "low prices," or "discount" to sell our products.
In fact, we told Yahoo! this when they sent us a proposed list of keywords, which included the above offending terms along with the ever-popular "cheap." Who wants cheap gourmet cookies? Anyone? Anyone?
Compounding the problem was a series of ads I don't recall creating with URLs pointing to our home page instead of the appropriate category pages on the site. Here's an example:
Buy Great Cookies at Low Prices
Visit 1-800-Bakery.com for great birthday cakes. We also offer pastries,
chocolates, candies, cookies, desserts, bread and more. Amazing prices. Order
online.
http://www.1-800-bakery.com/?src=overture
That conversion code doesn't work with any of our tracking programs. Every one of the suspect ads featured this URL, so my advice to anyone out there running a PPC campaign is to sort through your ads (good luck with their terrible interface, which sets a new benchmark for lack of usability), look for that URL, and see if they've been playing with your campaigns.
I'm infuriated about this on two levels:
1. Yahoo! has misrepresented our site with claims of "amazing prices" and directed potential customers to the home page instead of appropriate landing pages. We paid money for every click generated by these fradulent ads, so we handed somebody cash to make us look bad.
2. I now have to spend my valuable time undoing the damage caused by this editorial tinkering. The deeper I look into what they've done, the more problems I discover.
Once I saw what was going on, I sent them the following e-mail:
Dear Yahoo! Team,
If you want to continue having us as a customer, I would like answers
to the following questions:
1. Who is editing our ads?
2. Why are they editing our ads?
3.
How do I get them to stop doing this?
When we were first approached by Yahoo!, we made it very clear that
terms such as "low cost," "affordable," and "inexpensive" were, under no
circumstances, to ever appear in any of our advertising. Yet there it is.
I've also noticed a number of ads with incorrect URLs and conversion
tracking code. This is, quite frankly, unacceptable on any level.
If these issues cannot be addressed, immediately, then I will take
actions to suspend our account with Yahoo! We will also be reviewing our recent
bills to determine whether or not we paid for misdirected links provided by your
editorial staff.
Sincerely,
Derek Gerry
Senior Producer
1-800-Bakery.com
I did get a prompt reply, as follows (edited to remove identifying account information):
Hello ,
We have reviewed your account per your e-mail concern about your ads
being edited. Your ads are being edited by members of our editorial staff. They
are being edited in order to help your ad get approved. We can stop your ads
from being edited by notating your account. We do apologize for any
inconvenience this may have caused you. Per your request, we will notate your
account internally, for no changes to be made to your title and description in
your account.
If your URL's and tracking codes are incorrect, we apologize for this
inconvenience as well. We can change any part of your ads to whatever you want
us to change them to. You can submit these changes via spreadsheet in your
account, through the edit listings function in your account or you can call us
or e-mail us to inform one of our Gold specialists, the changes that you want to
make.
Once again, we are truly sorry for any inconvenience we may have caused
in your account. For assistance or questions with your account, please call us
at 1-866-YAHOO-SM (1-866-924-6676). Our hours are Monday - Friday: 5:00
a.m.-8:00 p.m., Saturday: 5:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m., and Sunday 8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m.,
Pacific Time.
Sincerely,
Mark Taylor
Customer Solutions
Yahoo! Search
Marketing
Gee, thanks, Mark, I'll be sure to put a spreadsheet together for you guys. If I'm putting that much effort into it, I might as well make the edits myself. Here's a better idea for future reference: Don't mess around with my campaigns. I don't have to take this aggravation from Google or MSN, and if an ad agency or PR firm ever did this to me, I'd fire them on the spot and sue for breach of contract.
We're in the process of reviewing our logs to determine how much of this unqualified traffic came to our site, and I'm considering whether or not we'll continue to maintain a relationship with Yahoo! Search Marketing.
To the rest of the marketing folks and Web masters out there, let me again advise you to carefully check your campaigns and make sure you're getting the traffic you're supposed to be paying for.
UPDATE:
I've taken 29 listings offline because the descriptions and/or titles contained "low prices," "affordable prices," or "amazing prices," three phrases I would NEVER use to drive qualified traffic to the site.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Consistency Is All I Ask
Today's daily task: Letting DMOZ off the hook, maybe. I was blessed enough to have an actual editor from The Open Directory Project contact me, thanks to some things I've said in my blog. Said editor told me that 1-800-Bakery.com was not eligible for inclusion, and pointed me toward the Editorial Guidelines.
After a thorough read of the guidelines, I couldn't find a single thing that would exclude us. So I wrote back, asking for further explanation.
It turns out that we're the scourge of the Internet. A filthy, evil, insidious, disgusting dropshipper. You thought we were just a nice baked goods gift site, but no, we're unwashed pagans unworthy of entry into the sacred tower that is DMOZ, lest we sully it with our proscribed partnering ways that provide visibility to small bakeries that couldn't afford the online promotion on their own. Mere parasites feeding off the good fortunes of innocent bakers as we help their businesses grow.
All this time I thought my lack of cocktail party invitations was just an oversight on the part of busy friends. Now I wonder, do they know that I work for a dropshipper? Do they avoid me for fear that I might corrupt their children with promises of outstanding customer service and a 100% money back guarantee? Or do they fear that their own will power isn't enough to keep me from seducing them with unique products and one of the largest varieties of any bakery site on the Web?
And where is all this spelled out? The closest thing I could find to the obviously well-advised decision to exclude verminous dropshippers from DMOZ was this sentence in Editorial Guidelines, filed under the ominous heading, "Sites Not to Include:"
After a thorough read of the guidelines, I couldn't find a single thing that would exclude us. So I wrote back, asking for further explanation.
It turns out that we're the scourge of the Internet. A filthy, evil, insidious, disgusting dropshipper. You thought we were just a nice baked goods gift site, but no, we're unwashed pagans unworthy of entry into the sacred tower that is DMOZ, lest we sully it with our proscribed partnering ways that provide visibility to small bakeries that couldn't afford the online promotion on their own. Mere parasites feeding off the good fortunes of innocent bakers as we help their businesses grow.
All this time I thought my lack of cocktail party invitations was just an oversight on the part of busy friends. Now I wonder, do they know that I work for a dropshipper? Do they avoid me for fear that I might corrupt their children with promises of outstanding customer service and a 100% money back guarantee? Or do they fear that their own will power isn't enough to keep me from seducing them with unique products and one of the largest varieties of any bakery site on the Web?
And where is all this spelled out? The closest thing I could find to the obviously well-advised decision to exclude verminous dropshippers from DMOZ was this sentence in Editorial Guidelines, filed under the ominous heading, "Sites Not to Include:"
Sites devoted to the sales and distribution of a single product should be avoided if they are affiliate sites or if the site is merely a distributor for a manufacturer already listed in the Directory. The purpose of the ODP is not to replicate the individual listings of an online shopping catalog.
I don't see the word dropshipper in there, I suspect because DMOZ is afraid to write it. What I do see in the directory, however, are several sites that carry the exact same products that we sell, such as:
- Macy's--they sell the same cookies we carry
- ProFlowers--they also sell the same cookies
- Home Shopping Network--they sell the same cakes
- Cooking.com--let's say you're Delightful Deliveries, and you can't get listed in DMOZ because you're a dropshipper. You can always sell through a site that isn't a dropshipper, right? Right!
- Future Memories--who would ever think that this site was a dropshipper?
- Bunn Family Gourmet--we can't expect the Bunn Family to make everything they sell. After all, they need time for sleep and family dinners gathered around heaping plates of USDA Prime steaks
- efendos--or as I like to call them, "eFiendos." Not just a dropshipper, but a "FREE" shipping liar
My editor friend went on to tell me that carrying unique products isn't enough. So it seems dropshippers need to be segregated from the rest of the online community, for the good of us all. I was told that I could file a complaint at the DMOZ Resource Zone, but I don't want to ruin someone else's DMOZ good time, and I find something unsettling about DMZ and Zone in the same sentence.
DMOZ is a private entity, and they're free to run the directory any way they want. That's their right, and I support it. Getting as much as they have out of a group of volunteer editors is commendable, but a little more vigilance across the enterprise would leave me far more gruntled.
The bigger issue is the decision by search engines to rely on outside sources to do their work for them. I can understand anyone not wanting a bunch of editors and writers hanging around the office--we're a general nuisance, and we take all the free food.
But by outsourcing, what should be a level playing field is skewed in favor of those with the money and the influence to get coverage from DMOZ, CNN, Associated Press, and the other "expert" sources. Small businesses face enough of this oppression in the brick-and-mortar world; we don't need it carried on to the Web.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Place Cake Outside, Bake for 30 Minutes
And now the latest from Accuweather: It's freakin' hot out there. Actually, their current headline reads, "Heat stretches from sea to scorching sea." If I was running the site, I'd take everything down and run the following:
Freaking hot.
Stay indoors.
Plus the ads, of course, because they've got to pay the bills.
Extreme heat is the mortal enemy of many a baked good, in particular the cheesecake, which wilts like the Red Sox pitching when Oakland is in town. Our customer research indicates that our customers prefer a cake-shaped cheesecake to a box containing a puddle of cheesecake goo, so we're suspending shipments of them until things cool down a bit. Once the temperature gets below 85 degrees in Chicago, we're all set.
As for the rest of our products, feel free to order them with confidence. Our tarts and layer cakes ship with dry ice, so they stay nice and cool in transit. Most of our cookies and all of our breads and croissants laugh at these rising temperatures in a way that I wish I could.
You can help our baked friends during this hot spell by having them sent to a daytime address where someone will be available to receive them and take them to a cool place. We're still waiving signature on all of our shipments, but the super-perishable stuff, such as tarts and petits fours, will be happier if its not left outside for a few hours.
Freaking hot.
Stay indoors.
Plus the ads, of course, because they've got to pay the bills.
Extreme heat is the mortal enemy of many a baked good, in particular the cheesecake, which wilts like the Red Sox pitching when Oakland is in town. Our customer research indicates that our customers prefer a cake-shaped cheesecake to a box containing a puddle of cheesecake goo, so we're suspending shipments of them until things cool down a bit. Once the temperature gets below 85 degrees in Chicago, we're all set.
As for the rest of our products, feel free to order them with confidence. Our tarts and layer cakes ship with dry ice, so they stay nice and cool in transit. Most of our cookies and all of our breads and croissants laugh at these rising temperatures in a way that I wish I could.
You can help our baked friends during this hot spell by having them sent to a daytime address where someone will be available to receive them and take them to a cool place. We're still waiving signature on all of our shipments, but the super-perishable stuff, such as tarts and petits fours, will be happier if its not left outside for a few hours.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Another Loss of Confidence
Seems I'm not the only one wondering about the whereabouts and welfare of the editors over at DMOZ. The nice folks over at MarketPosition included an article in their last e-mail explaining how to get MSN to update your site description in their search engine.
Of note in the article is this lovely quote: "But what if you've been trying unsuccessfully to get the Open Directory to update your listing?" Should you send a search party? Alert the FBI? Perhaps, but if you want some results, there's a new meta tag that works with MSNbot to update that tired old description.
Author Scott Goodyear closes the article by saying, "We can only hope that other engines will follow MSN's lead."
And there it is, a mass-media scourging of the hard-working, overburdened DMOZ editors, who will soon fear to look upon other Web sites in their fleeting nanoseconds of downtime as the tide of mildly disgruntled Web masters continues to rise.
DMOZ now joins the President, Congress, and our legal system in losing the confidence of the American public. What can we belive in anymore, if we can't trust a group of unpaid volunteers to provide free indexing for multibillion-dollar behemoths like Google and MSN? The very core of the Internet is starting to fail, and I can only hope it doesn't cause a cascade like the Y2K virus almost did. Imagine a world where search engines are forced to use the meta descriptions written by biased, manipulative Web masters instead of the fair and balanced descriptions created by Starbucks-fueled volunteers, whose only mission in life is to point people toward what's relevant and genuine.
Let's hope that this slap from MSN encourages the powers that be at DMOZ, assuming there are any that can be found, to break out the whips and demand 26-hour days from their underperforming editors, because I don't think I could live in a world where DMOZ didn't guarantee those lucky enough to have their submissions actually reviewed an extra point or two of PageRank.
A number of people suggested that I become a DMOZ editor after my last post on this subject. "Just post your site and then resign," was heard more than once. I don't approve of those kinds of shenanigans to begin with, and to me, becoming a DMOZ editor because they won't list your site is like going into the kitchen and getting your own food because you can't find your waitress.
Of note in the article is this lovely quote: "But what if you've been trying unsuccessfully to get the Open Directory to update your listing?" Should you send a search party? Alert the FBI? Perhaps, but if you want some results, there's a new meta tag that works with MSNbot to update that tired old description.
Author Scott Goodyear closes the article by saying, "We can only hope that other engines will follow MSN's lead."
And there it is, a mass-media scourging of the hard-working, overburdened DMOZ editors, who will soon fear to look upon other Web sites in their fleeting nanoseconds of downtime as the tide of mildly disgruntled Web masters continues to rise.
DMOZ now joins the President, Congress, and our legal system in losing the confidence of the American public. What can we belive in anymore, if we can't trust a group of unpaid volunteers to provide free indexing for multibillion-dollar behemoths like Google and MSN? The very core of the Internet is starting to fail, and I can only hope it doesn't cause a cascade like the Y2K virus almost did. Imagine a world where search engines are forced to use the meta descriptions written by biased, manipulative Web masters instead of the fair and balanced descriptions created by Starbucks-fueled volunteers, whose only mission in life is to point people toward what's relevant and genuine.
Let's hope that this slap from MSN encourages the powers that be at DMOZ, assuming there are any that can be found, to break out the whips and demand 26-hour days from their underperforming editors, because I don't think I could live in a world where DMOZ didn't guarantee those lucky enough to have their submissions actually reviewed an extra point or two of PageRank.
A number of people suggested that I become a DMOZ editor after my last post on this subject. "Just post your site and then resign," was heard more than once. I don't approve of those kinds of shenanigans to begin with, and to me, becoming a DMOZ editor because they won't list your site is like going into the kitchen and getting your own food because you can't find your waitress.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Summer Shipping FAQ
In case you haven't noticed, it's wicked freaking hot outside. Hot weather is my natural enemy, as is cold weather, rainy weather, or any weather that isn't 75 degrees and cloudless with nighttime lows in the 50s.
Hot weather is the mortal enemy of baked goods, cakes in particular. That doesn't mean we can't ship them to you, it just means we have to be a little more careful with them, which we are, which is why Overnight is the only shipping option available on some of our products.
We get hit with a lot of questions about that, so I thought I'd take some time to answer them and offer some general tips on shipping that you might find helpful on any site where you shop.
1. Why is Overnight Shipping my only choice?
Because it's wicked freaking hot outside. We've got tropical depressions forming off the coast of Maryland (not actually part of the tropics, the last time I checked) and Portuguese Man O'Wars floating around off the coast of Rhode Island. Maybe they came for the Sweet Bread.
If you're ordering layer cakes, cheesecakes, or petits fours, Overnight shipping is the only way we can get them to you before they melt. If you're in New York City, Chicagoland, or Boston, it only costs $6.95.
All of our other products, including cookies, breads, croissants, and English muffins can still be shipped via Second-Day Air, and they'll arrive fresh and tasty. We guarantee that. Second-Day Air shipping will return on our cakes, cheesecakes, and petits fours by October 15, maybe sooner if it decides to cool off out there.
2. Is it safe to ship bakery foods in the summertime?
Yes it is. We've been doing it for a few years now. We use ice packs and dry ice as needed to keep things cool.
3. Do you deliver to (insert city and state here)?
We deliver throughout the continental United States, or the Lower 48 as some folks call them, even though Hawaii is just off to the left. We cannot deliver to U.S. territories or protectorates because of the extra time it takes to get our products there.
Our Saturday delivery range is very limited. We can reach the major cities in the continental United States and some suburbs. Where we can't go is sometimes surprising, so I recommend checking with us at 1-800-287-9870 before placing an order for Saturday delivery.
4. Can you deliver to military bases/universities/my kid's summer camp?
We can, but we'll need complete information to get the package there, which includes a physical mailing address where the package will be delivered, usually a front gate for a military base or a mail center for a school or summer camp. UPS and FedEx, our two primary shipping partners, won't deliver to P.O. Boxes and can't deliver to internal mailboxes, so all deliveries need to be sent to the mailing facility for the base, school, or camp.
Finding that information can be very tricky. I recommend calling the school or camp directly and asking for the mail services department, which should be able to provide the address. You can also try calling the FedEx or UPS office near the base, camp, or school, and asking them for advice.
When shipping to bases, camps, or schools, always try to allow an extra day for delivery and avoid shipping on Friday. Experience has shown us that not all internal mail services can deliver on the same day. Some of them are great, some of them need a little extra time. In general, summer camps and military bases are great at getting packages to the recipient the day they arrive. Some schools, especially the larger ones, get so much mail that it takes an extra day to process it all. If the package arrives on Friday, it might not get to the recipient until Monday, which can be harmful to our cakes and cheesecakes.
5. Do I need to give my phone number and e-mail?
Please give us at least one, and make it one where we can reach you during the day. Sometimes we have questions about a delivery date, sometimes there's a problem with the address. If we can't figure it out, we can't ship your order. We will only call if we have a question, and we use your e-mail to send out tracking information, so you know the package got there on time.
Summertime doesn't mean you need to go without our delicious bakery treats. Every week, we deliver cakes, breads, confections, and pastries to addresses all across America to rave reviews from our customers. This year, we've even added several Summer Shipping Specials to help take the bite out of those overnight shipping costs.
If you've got any other questions, feel free to call me at 617-331-0929 or e-mail me at derek@1-800-bakery.com.
Hot weather is the mortal enemy of baked goods, cakes in particular. That doesn't mean we can't ship them to you, it just means we have to be a little more careful with them, which we are, which is why Overnight is the only shipping option available on some of our products.
We get hit with a lot of questions about that, so I thought I'd take some time to answer them and offer some general tips on shipping that you might find helpful on any site where you shop.
1. Why is Overnight Shipping my only choice?
Because it's wicked freaking hot outside. We've got tropical depressions forming off the coast of Maryland (not actually part of the tropics, the last time I checked) and Portuguese Man O'Wars floating around off the coast of Rhode Island. Maybe they came for the Sweet Bread.
If you're ordering layer cakes, cheesecakes, or petits fours, Overnight shipping is the only way we can get them to you before they melt. If you're in New York City, Chicagoland, or Boston, it only costs $6.95.
All of our other products, including cookies, breads, croissants, and English muffins can still be shipped via Second-Day Air, and they'll arrive fresh and tasty. We guarantee that. Second-Day Air shipping will return on our cakes, cheesecakes, and petits fours by October 15, maybe sooner if it decides to cool off out there.
2. Is it safe to ship bakery foods in the summertime?
Yes it is. We've been doing it for a few years now. We use ice packs and dry ice as needed to keep things cool.
3. Do you deliver to (insert city and state here)?
We deliver throughout the continental United States, or the Lower 48 as some folks call them, even though Hawaii is just off to the left. We cannot deliver to U.S. territories or protectorates because of the extra time it takes to get our products there.
Our Saturday delivery range is very limited. We can reach the major cities in the continental United States and some suburbs. Where we can't go is sometimes surprising, so I recommend checking with us at 1-800-287-9870 before placing an order for Saturday delivery.
4. Can you deliver to military bases/universities/my kid's summer camp?
We can, but we'll need complete information to get the package there, which includes a physical mailing address where the package will be delivered, usually a front gate for a military base or a mail center for a school or summer camp. UPS and FedEx, our two primary shipping partners, won't deliver to P.O. Boxes and can't deliver to internal mailboxes, so all deliveries need to be sent to the mailing facility for the base, school, or camp.
Finding that information can be very tricky. I recommend calling the school or camp directly and asking for the mail services department, which should be able to provide the address. You can also try calling the FedEx or UPS office near the base, camp, or school, and asking them for advice.
When shipping to bases, camps, or schools, always try to allow an extra day for delivery and avoid shipping on Friday. Experience has shown us that not all internal mail services can deliver on the same day. Some of them are great, some of them need a little extra time. In general, summer camps and military bases are great at getting packages to the recipient the day they arrive. Some schools, especially the larger ones, get so much mail that it takes an extra day to process it all. If the package arrives on Friday, it might not get to the recipient until Monday, which can be harmful to our cakes and cheesecakes.
5. Do I need to give my phone number and e-mail?
Please give us at least one, and make it one where we can reach you during the day. Sometimes we have questions about a delivery date, sometimes there's a problem with the address. If we can't figure it out, we can't ship your order. We will only call if we have a question, and we use your e-mail to send out tracking information, so you know the package got there on time.
Summertime doesn't mean you need to go without our delicious bakery treats. Every week, we deliver cakes, breads, confections, and pastries to addresses all across America to rave reviews from our customers. This year, we've even added several Summer Shipping Specials to help take the bite out of those overnight shipping costs.
If you've got any other questions, feel free to call me at 617-331-0929 or e-mail me at derek@1-800-bakery.com.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
A Pathetic Anniversary
My thoughts go out today to the hard-working staff over at DMOZ, the Open Directory, for their tireless efforts to keep the public at large informed about what's happening online.
They must be overwhelmed with the constant addition of new sites to the Internet, and all the requests they get from Webmasters to add sites to their directory, which is still considered an authority site by no less than the mighty Google.
Indeed, working at DMOZ must be a ceaseless Sisyphusian struggle against the rising tide of e-commerce, with the sleepless nights toiling at laptops and desktops willowing relationships with family and friends.
So busy are the all-powerful DMOZ volunteers that they lack the time for basic social interaction, regular television viewing, or even the fleeting calm of a coffee break. I say this because today, the Summer Solstice, marks the one-year anniversary of my submission of 1-800-Bakery.com to DMOZ, and after one year, we're still not listed.
Despite assurances that our site would be listed in weeks, three months at the most, visitors to DMOZ are denied the knowledge that our humble baked-goods emporium is available for thier high-calorie snacking and gift-giving needs.
I can only imagine the nightmare that must be the life of the Top: Shopping: Food: Baked Goods editor, his or her fingers a gnarled and withered mass flopping from carpal-swollen wrists, glazed, owllike eyes peering from sagging eyelids drained to alabaster by too many hours spent indoors. The miniscule feeling of accomplishment at adding a new listing erased by a heartbeat spiking at the sight of so many bakery sites waiting for inclusion. The growing sense of doom that normal life has been swallowed by the morass of sites silently piling up in the In Box.
Only the ignorant would dare to call these brave soldiers of Web organization lazy. If they ignore our pleas for inclusion, or our repeated e-mails to addresses that don't really go anywhere, it's only because their passion for completing their task of listing everyone in a timely fashion prevents them from pausing, even for a moment, to acknowledge our concern.
I salute you, tireless Top: Shopping: Food: Baked Goods editor. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed, and your dedication is an example of the spirit that made America great!
Now can you get my freaking site listed already?
They must be overwhelmed with the constant addition of new sites to the Internet, and all the requests they get from Webmasters to add sites to their directory, which is still considered an authority site by no less than the mighty Google.
Indeed, working at DMOZ must be a ceaseless Sisyphusian struggle against the rising tide of e-commerce, with the sleepless nights toiling at laptops and desktops willowing relationships with family and friends.
So busy are the all-powerful DMOZ volunteers that they lack the time for basic social interaction, regular television viewing, or even the fleeting calm of a coffee break. I say this because today, the Summer Solstice, marks the one-year anniversary of my submission of 1-800-Bakery.com to DMOZ, and after one year, we're still not listed.
Despite assurances that our site would be listed in weeks, three months at the most, visitors to DMOZ are denied the knowledge that our humble baked-goods emporium is available for thier high-calorie snacking and gift-giving needs.
I can only imagine the nightmare that must be the life of the Top: Shopping: Food: Baked Goods editor, his or her fingers a gnarled and withered mass flopping from carpal-swollen wrists, glazed, owllike eyes peering from sagging eyelids drained to alabaster by too many hours spent indoors. The miniscule feeling of accomplishment at adding a new listing erased by a heartbeat spiking at the sight of so many bakery sites waiting for inclusion. The growing sense of doom that normal life has been swallowed by the morass of sites silently piling up in the In Box.
Only the ignorant would dare to call these brave soldiers of Web organization lazy. If they ignore our pleas for inclusion, or our repeated e-mails to addresses that don't really go anywhere, it's only because their passion for completing their task of listing everyone in a timely fashion prevents them from pausing, even for a moment, to acknowledge our concern.
I salute you, tireless Top: Shopping: Food: Baked Goods editor. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed, and your dedication is an example of the spirit that made America great!
Now can you get my freaking site listed already?
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Same Discount, Different Products
Here's some good news for everyone in Chicagoland: You can now enjoy $6.95 overnight shipping, Tuesday through Friday, on cheesecakes and layer cakes from JR Dessert Bakery and cookies from Supercookie. Order the cake today, you get it tomorrow. These cakes are served in some of the Chicago area's finest restaurants; now you can have them at home for less than you'd probably pay in gas, and a lot less than you'd pay for a dinner just to get a slice of cake.
To those who say these discounts are exclusionary, I say wait a minute, we've got savings for you, too. Did you know that you can order up to three boxes of petits fours or any two of our tarts, truffle cakes, or sugar-free cakes and only pay shipping for one? That'll put at least an extra $25 in your pocket, and the discount is available nationwide.
Still not satisfied? You're a tough case, my friend, but I'll offer you the same discount on all mini cookies from Supercookie. Order up to three tubs and pay $9.95 for two-day shipping. If you're planning a big Fourth of July cookout, a few tubs of July 4th or Picnic mini cookies will be a welcome treat for your guests, and that much less work for you to do.
I dare you to find better values anywhere online. Go ahead, check. It's too hot to play outside, so you might as well do some Web surfing.
To those who say these discounts are exclusionary, I say wait a minute, we've got savings for you, too. Did you know that you can order up to three boxes of petits fours or any two of our tarts, truffle cakes, or sugar-free cakes and only pay shipping for one? That'll put at least an extra $25 in your pocket, and the discount is available nationwide.
Still not satisfied? You're a tough case, my friend, but I'll offer you the same discount on all mini cookies from Supercookie. Order up to three tubs and pay $9.95 for two-day shipping. If you're planning a big Fourth of July cookout, a few tubs of July 4th or Picnic mini cookies will be a welcome treat for your guests, and that much less work for you to do.
I dare you to find better values anywhere online. Go ahead, check. It's too hot to play outside, so you might as well do some Web surfing.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Start Spreading the News...
As promised, friends and family in the New York City area can now enjoy $6.95 Overnight shipping on cakes, tarts, and pastries from the site. As with our Boston discount, this does you no good at all if you live in Ames, Iowa, unless you know somebody in the area. Between those two cities, that's around 14 million people, so the odds are high that you've got someone special there who would like a dozen croissants for $39.90, including shipping, which is less than Williams-Sonoma charges for just the croissants. Granted, you get three more croissants from them, but you only get to pick one flavor and you pay more. Granted also that Oprah Winfrey loves those Williams-Sonoma croissants, but unless you're Bill Gates or Paul McCartney, Oprah has more money than you do and doesn't care about paying the extra $8.55.
Maybe you know someone in one of those two cities who's celebrating a birthday. We'll send a 10-inch cake that serves 16 people and comes with plates, napkins, forks, candles, and a cake server for $55.90. The "FREE shipping" liars charge $79.99 for a 10-inch cake, and they offer a lot less variety than we do. I'm sure you can think of something you could do with $24, like sending a gift along with the cake, or putting some gas in your car for a summer roadtrip.
Maybe you know someone in one of those two cities who's celebrating a birthday. We'll send a 10-inch cake that serves 16 people and comes with plates, napkins, forks, candles, and a cake server for $55.90. The "FREE shipping" liars charge $79.99 for a 10-inch cake, and they offer a lot less variety than we do. I'm sure you can think of something you could do with $24, like sending a gift along with the cake, or putting some gas in your car for a summer roadtrip.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
How to Beat the High Cost of Shipping
I've been talking a bit about how some folks like to lie about FREE shipping to try and convince you that you're getting "a deal." I know you're smarter than that, which is why I've asked you to comparison shop and see who's got the best values.
I'm about to make our competitors very sad, because we've found a few ways to save you a lot of money on shipping.
First, let me direct your attention to our Boston Shipping Discount Coupon. Order any item on our site from Bittersweet Pastries or La Patisserie, and we'll ship it Overnight for $6.95.
Let me say that again: Overnight Shipping, Tuesday through Friday, for $6.95. You'd probably pay more in gas going to the store and buying the cake than you would in shipping costs from us. This discount only applies to items shipped to Greater Boston, including all those suburbs that surround it. But I'll let you, my faithful blog readers, in on a secret: It can actually be used for any part of Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island, except for really rural sections and the tip of Cape Cod. Sorry, Truro.
Similar discounts will be rolled out next week for the metro-NYC area and the Chicagoland area.
At a time when everything else seems to be getting more expensive, isn't it nice to find something that costs less? As we move into the last quarter of the year, more of the country will be able to enjoy these discounts, so keep your eyes out for more details.
Meanwhile, if you're in need of large amounts of Petits Fours or Tarts, and you're shipping them anywhere in the United States, you can save on that too. Check out our Summer Shipping Savings page for more details.
I'm about to make our competitors very sad, because we've found a few ways to save you a lot of money on shipping.
First, let me direct your attention to our Boston Shipping Discount Coupon. Order any item on our site from Bittersweet Pastries or La Patisserie, and we'll ship it Overnight for $6.95.
Let me say that again: Overnight Shipping, Tuesday through Friday, for $6.95. You'd probably pay more in gas going to the store and buying the cake than you would in shipping costs from us. This discount only applies to items shipped to Greater Boston, including all those suburbs that surround it. But I'll let you, my faithful blog readers, in on a secret: It can actually be used for any part of Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island, except for really rural sections and the tip of Cape Cod. Sorry, Truro.
Similar discounts will be rolled out next week for the metro-NYC area and the Chicagoland area.
At a time when everything else seems to be getting more expensive, isn't it nice to find something that costs less? As we move into the last quarter of the year, more of the country will be able to enjoy these discounts, so keep your eyes out for more details.
Meanwhile, if you're in need of large amounts of Petits Fours or Tarts, and you're shipping them anywhere in the United States, you can save on that too. Check out our Summer Shipping Savings page for more details.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Liars Get More Cakes
It finally happened. The single-cake site that lies about free shipping (you might know them as gocakego), got more flavors of cake! They've got FIVE, count 'em, FIVE whole flavors now (we've got 18 flavors of cake, and that's not counting the cheesecakes or the coffee cakes). And all of those new flavors come with FREE shipping, which for some reason costs more than our cakes. Their 10" carrot cake checks in at $79.95. Our carrot cake, including express shipping, is $60.65.
Now to be fair, they do include plates and napkins and candles and such with their cakes. But if you saved $19.30 with us, I'm sure you could get your own plates and candles, maybe even have a little left over for some soda or a moderate bottle of wine. Or if you've got those things lying around the house, you could get the birthday girl or boy a DVD.
So let's review: Gocakego, with their much-ballyhooed FREE shipping, costs $19.30 more than we do. For the extra money, you get some plates and napkins and candles, and everyone gets to send e-mails to the birthday celebrant. I suggest that you rush out right now in a buying frenzy, because that's a great value. No, really, it is. Like that time you paid $20 for mint-on-card Star Wars figures because they'd be a great "investment."
It's days like this that I feel like an idiot. Here I am, trying to figure out ways to LOWER our shipping costs, when all I had to do was raise our prices and claim that we have FREE shipping. This is why I'm just no good at business.
Now to be fair, they do include plates and napkins and candles and such with their cakes. But if you saved $19.30 with us, I'm sure you could get your own plates and candles, maybe even have a little left over for some soda or a moderate bottle of wine. Or if you've got those things lying around the house, you could get the birthday girl or boy a DVD.
So let's review: Gocakego, with their much-ballyhooed FREE shipping, costs $19.30 more than we do. For the extra money, you get some plates and napkins and candles, and everyone gets to send e-mails to the birthday celebrant. I suggest that you rush out right now in a buying frenzy, because that's a great value. No, really, it is. Like that time you paid $20 for mint-on-card Star Wars figures because they'd be a great "investment."
It's days like this that I feel like an idiot. Here I am, trying to figure out ways to LOWER our shipping costs, when all I had to do was raise our prices and claim that we have FREE shipping. This is why I'm just no good at business.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Make Mom Proud
Don't even tell me that you're giving Mom anything with the word "bouquet" in it on Mothers Day. I don't care if it's flowers or cookies. All the moms called me over the weekend and told me they've had it with bouquets. It's as cliche as giving a necktie on Father's Day.
There's 364 other days in the year you can give mom flowers, and she'll be surprised and delighted. Especially if it's a random Tuesday. Remember those old AT&T commercials where the mother was crying because her son called just to tell her he loved her? That kind of reaction.
A Mothers Day gift should show your appreciation for everything she's done. Moms are very special people, and they deserve a nice present. Since mom probably spent most of your childhood baking cookies, brownies, and the occasional cake for you, shouldn't you repay that favor with some fine pastries, cookies, or a tart from 1-800-Bakery? You'll show mom that you've got good taste, and if you order anything from Mother Myrick's, like a fudge sampler or a Lemon Lulu cake, you'll save 10%.
Yes, we're having an actual, genuine, real sale, which we don't do that often. That's how much we love mom. We'll even give you 10% off stollen, gourmet cookies, croissants, or biscotti, because we want mom to have a delicious gift. We should charge you more, because it's for mom, and you can't put a price on her love, but we know it makes her happy when you save money
Mom doesn't want you to go out of your way for her sake, and with gas prices so high, she's got a point. How much of that sale price at the mall is going to be eaten up by fuel costs? And all the moms who called told me they don't want that "Worlds Greatest Mom" sweatshirt anyway.
Show mom how much you've matured by ordering ahead, and by remembering that Mothers Day is Sunday, May 14. Our sale prices are in effect until 2PM Eastern on Wednesday, May 10, and we'll deliver on Friday the 12th.
There were two more things the moms wanted me to pass on: Stop slouching, and eat your vegetables. And don't forget to call.
There's 364 other days in the year you can give mom flowers, and she'll be surprised and delighted. Especially if it's a random Tuesday. Remember those old AT&T commercials where the mother was crying because her son called just to tell her he loved her? That kind of reaction.
A Mothers Day gift should show your appreciation for everything she's done. Moms are very special people, and they deserve a nice present. Since mom probably spent most of your childhood baking cookies, brownies, and the occasional cake for you, shouldn't you repay that favor with some fine pastries, cookies, or a tart from 1-800-Bakery? You'll show mom that you've got good taste, and if you order anything from Mother Myrick's, like a fudge sampler or a Lemon Lulu cake, you'll save 10%.
Yes, we're having an actual, genuine, real sale, which we don't do that often. That's how much we love mom. We'll even give you 10% off stollen, gourmet cookies, croissants, or biscotti, because we want mom to have a delicious gift. We should charge you more, because it's for mom, and you can't put a price on her love, but we know it makes her happy when you save money
Mom doesn't want you to go out of your way for her sake, and with gas prices so high, she's got a point. How much of that sale price at the mall is going to be eaten up by fuel costs? And all the moms who called told me they don't want that "Worlds Greatest Mom" sweatshirt anyway.
Show mom how much you've matured by ordering ahead, and by remembering that Mothers Day is Sunday, May 14. Our sale prices are in effect until 2PM Eastern on Wednesday, May 10, and we'll deliver on Friday the 12th.
There were two more things the moms wanted me to pass on: Stop slouching, and eat your vegetables. And don't forget to call.
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