A Pathetic Anniversary

My thoughts go out today to the hard-working staff over at DMOZ, the Open Directory, for their tireless efforts to keep the public at large informed about what's happening online.

They must be overwhelmed with the constant addition of new sites to the Internet, and all the requests they get from Webmasters to add sites to their directory, which is still considered an authority site by no less than the mighty Google.

Indeed, working at DMOZ must be a ceaseless Sisyphusian struggle against the rising tide of e-commerce, with the sleepless nights toiling at laptops and desktops willowing relationships with family and friends.

So busy are the all-powerful DMOZ volunteers that they lack the time for basic social interaction, regular television viewing, or even the fleeting calm of a coffee break. I say this because today, the Summer Solstice, marks the one-year anniversary of my submission of 1-800-Bakery.com to DMOZ, and after one year, we're still not listed.

Despite assurances that our site would be listed in weeks, three months at the most, visitors to DMOZ are denied the knowledge that our humble baked-goods emporium is available for thier high-calorie snacking and gift-giving needs.

I can only imagine the nightmare that must be the life of the Top: Shopping: Food: Baked Goods editor, his or her fingers a gnarled and withered mass flopping from carpal-swollen wrists, glazed, owllike eyes peering from sagging eyelids drained to alabaster by too many hours spent indoors. The miniscule feeling of accomplishment at adding a new listing erased by a heartbeat spiking at the sight of so many bakery sites waiting for inclusion. The growing sense of doom that normal life has been swallowed by the morass of sites silently piling up in the In Box.

Only the ignorant would dare to call these brave soldiers of Web organization lazy. If they ignore our pleas for inclusion, or our repeated e-mails to addresses that don't really go anywhere, it's only because their passion for completing their task of listing everyone in a timely fashion prevents them from pausing, even for a moment, to acknowledge our concern.

I salute you, tireless Top: Shopping: Food: Baked Goods editor. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed, and your dedication is an example of the spirit that made America great!

Now can you get my freaking site listed already?