I've been talking a bit about how some folks like to lie about FREE shipping to try and convince you that you're getting "a deal." I know you're smarter than that, which is why I've asked you to comparison shop and see who's got the best values.
I'm about to make our competitors very sad, because we've found a few ways to save you a lot of money on shipping.
First, let me direct your attention to our Boston Shipping Discount Coupon. Order any item on our site from Bittersweet Pastries or La Patisserie, and we'll ship it Overnight for $6.95.
Let me say that again: Overnight Shipping, Tuesday through Friday, for $6.95. You'd probably pay more in gas going to the store and buying the cake than you would in shipping costs from us. This discount only applies to items shipped to Greater Boston, including all those suburbs that surround it. But I'll let you, my faithful blog readers, in on a secret: It can actually be used for any part of Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island, except for really rural sections and the tip of Cape Cod. Sorry, Truro.
Similar discounts will be rolled out next week for the metro-NYC area and the Chicagoland area.
At a time when everything else seems to be getting more expensive, isn't it nice to find something that costs less? As we move into the last quarter of the year, more of the country will be able to enjoy these discounts, so keep your eyes out for more details.
Meanwhile, if you're in need of large amounts of Petits Fours or Tarts, and you're shipping them anywhere in the United States, you can save on that too. Check out our Summer Shipping Savings page for more details.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Liars Get More Cakes
It finally happened. The single-cake site that lies about free shipping (you might know them as gocakego), got more flavors of cake! They've got FIVE, count 'em, FIVE whole flavors now (we've got 18 flavors of cake, and that's not counting the cheesecakes or the coffee cakes). And all of those new flavors come with FREE shipping, which for some reason costs more than our cakes. Their 10" carrot cake checks in at $79.95. Our carrot cake, including express shipping, is $60.65.
Now to be fair, they do include plates and napkins and candles and such with their cakes. But if you saved $19.30 with us, I'm sure you could get your own plates and candles, maybe even have a little left over for some soda or a moderate bottle of wine. Or if you've got those things lying around the house, you could get the birthday girl or boy a DVD.
So let's review: Gocakego, with their much-ballyhooed FREE shipping, costs $19.30 more than we do. For the extra money, you get some plates and napkins and candles, and everyone gets to send e-mails to the birthday celebrant. I suggest that you rush out right now in a buying frenzy, because that's a great value. No, really, it is. Like that time you paid $20 for mint-on-card Star Wars figures because they'd be a great "investment."
It's days like this that I feel like an idiot. Here I am, trying to figure out ways to LOWER our shipping costs, when all I had to do was raise our prices and claim that we have FREE shipping. This is why I'm just no good at business.
Now to be fair, they do include plates and napkins and candles and such with their cakes. But if you saved $19.30 with us, I'm sure you could get your own plates and candles, maybe even have a little left over for some soda or a moderate bottle of wine. Or if you've got those things lying around the house, you could get the birthday girl or boy a DVD.
So let's review: Gocakego, with their much-ballyhooed FREE shipping, costs $19.30 more than we do. For the extra money, you get some plates and napkins and candles, and everyone gets to send e-mails to the birthday celebrant. I suggest that you rush out right now in a buying frenzy, because that's a great value. No, really, it is. Like that time you paid $20 for mint-on-card Star Wars figures because they'd be a great "investment."
It's days like this that I feel like an idiot. Here I am, trying to figure out ways to LOWER our shipping costs, when all I had to do was raise our prices and claim that we have FREE shipping. This is why I'm just no good at business.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Make Mom Proud
Don't even tell me that you're giving Mom anything with the word "bouquet" in it on Mothers Day. I don't care if it's flowers or cookies. All the moms called me over the weekend and told me they've had it with bouquets. It's as cliche as giving a necktie on Father's Day.
There's 364 other days in the year you can give mom flowers, and she'll be surprised and delighted. Especially if it's a random Tuesday. Remember those old AT&T commercials where the mother was crying because her son called just to tell her he loved her? That kind of reaction.
A Mothers Day gift should show your appreciation for everything she's done. Moms are very special people, and they deserve a nice present. Since mom probably spent most of your childhood baking cookies, brownies, and the occasional cake for you, shouldn't you repay that favor with some fine pastries, cookies, or a tart from 1-800-Bakery? You'll show mom that you've got good taste, and if you order anything from Mother Myrick's, like a fudge sampler or a Lemon Lulu cake, you'll save 10%.
Yes, we're having an actual, genuine, real sale, which we don't do that often. That's how much we love mom. We'll even give you 10% off stollen, gourmet cookies, croissants, or biscotti, because we want mom to have a delicious gift. We should charge you more, because it's for mom, and you can't put a price on her love, but we know it makes her happy when you save money
Mom doesn't want you to go out of your way for her sake, and with gas prices so high, she's got a point. How much of that sale price at the mall is going to be eaten up by fuel costs? And all the moms who called told me they don't want that "Worlds Greatest Mom" sweatshirt anyway.
Show mom how much you've matured by ordering ahead, and by remembering that Mothers Day is Sunday, May 14. Our sale prices are in effect until 2PM Eastern on Wednesday, May 10, and we'll deliver on Friday the 12th.
There were two more things the moms wanted me to pass on: Stop slouching, and eat your vegetables. And don't forget to call.
There's 364 other days in the year you can give mom flowers, and she'll be surprised and delighted. Especially if it's a random Tuesday. Remember those old AT&T commercials where the mother was crying because her son called just to tell her he loved her? That kind of reaction.
A Mothers Day gift should show your appreciation for everything she's done. Moms are very special people, and they deserve a nice present. Since mom probably spent most of your childhood baking cookies, brownies, and the occasional cake for you, shouldn't you repay that favor with some fine pastries, cookies, or a tart from 1-800-Bakery? You'll show mom that you've got good taste, and if you order anything from Mother Myrick's, like a fudge sampler or a Lemon Lulu cake, you'll save 10%.
Yes, we're having an actual, genuine, real sale, which we don't do that often. That's how much we love mom. We'll even give you 10% off stollen, gourmet cookies, croissants, or biscotti, because we want mom to have a delicious gift. We should charge you more, because it's for mom, and you can't put a price on her love, but we know it makes her happy when you save money
Mom doesn't want you to go out of your way for her sake, and with gas prices so high, she's got a point. How much of that sale price at the mall is going to be eaten up by fuel costs? And all the moms who called told me they don't want that "Worlds Greatest Mom" sweatshirt anyway.
Show mom how much you've matured by ordering ahead, and by remembering that Mothers Day is Sunday, May 14. Our sale prices are in effect until 2PM Eastern on Wednesday, May 10, and we'll deliver on Friday the 12th.
There were two more things the moms wanted me to pass on: Stop slouching, and eat your vegetables. And don't forget to call.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Myspam
I'm on Myspace, because if everyone else jumped off a bridge, I'd want to see the blog that made them do it.
Actually, I'm on Myspace to promote my weekly radio show, which airs on 91.5, WMFO, and has little or nothing to do with baked goods and everything to do with comedy and politics. It's called Hbee Inc. Radio, and it airs on Thursdays from 6-8 PM. It's also simulcast on the Web, and if you decide to tune in, be prepared for shouting, eclectic music, and the occasional joke that goes too far.
Myspace is a good place to promote this sort of thing. It gives me the chance to post four free MP3s and reaches millions. I suppose it was only a matter of time before the spammers caught on to this.
On Monday morning, I received an invitation to join a group from MySpace. These invites don't always tell you what the group is, and I know a few folks with groups, usually based around a comedy show, so I clicked the link and found myself in the "Get Paid to Take Online Surveys" group. Unlike all the other "Get Paid to Take Online Surveys" links I'd seen, this one promised to get me access to the surveys that really pay, complete with testimonials from folks who had quit their jobs and were now raking in $300 a day by filling out forms in their pajamas.
Man I'd love to have that gig. Too bad it's fictional. Folks, if you want to make $300 a day for an hour's work, here's how you do it:
1. Be born really funny.
2. Learn to be a great writer.
3. Spend 10 years losing your dignity and confidence five minutes at a time in comedy clubs.
4. Promote yourself relentlessly.
5. Develop an hour of material and hope that bookers and audiences like you.
If you can do that, you, too, can make $300 for a night's work, although it isn't really a night's work, more like a lifetime. That's how standup comics do it, and precious few succeed, though more people are actually making a living by doing this than by clicking on online surveys.
Myspace seems to be doing a good job stopping the spammers, as the group was deleted by midday. That didn't stop the spammer from setting up another group and sending me another invite, but that group was also deleted.
It'll be interesting to see how long Myspace can keep the spammers at bay. My guess: Not long. They always seem to find a way. At least I haven't been asked to join the "Help me transfer $10 million from Nigeria" group yet. That would be hard to resist.
Actually, I'm on Myspace to promote my weekly radio show, which airs on 91.5, WMFO, and has little or nothing to do with baked goods and everything to do with comedy and politics. It's called Hbee Inc. Radio, and it airs on Thursdays from 6-8 PM. It's also simulcast on the Web, and if you decide to tune in, be prepared for shouting, eclectic music, and the occasional joke that goes too far.
Myspace is a good place to promote this sort of thing. It gives me the chance to post four free MP3s and reaches millions. I suppose it was only a matter of time before the spammers caught on to this.
On Monday morning, I received an invitation to join a group from MySpace. These invites don't always tell you what the group is, and I know a few folks with groups, usually based around a comedy show, so I clicked the link and found myself in the "Get Paid to Take Online Surveys" group. Unlike all the other "Get Paid to Take Online Surveys" links I'd seen, this one promised to get me access to the surveys that really pay, complete with testimonials from folks who had quit their jobs and were now raking in $300 a day by filling out forms in their pajamas.
Man I'd love to have that gig. Too bad it's fictional. Folks, if you want to make $300 a day for an hour's work, here's how you do it:
1. Be born really funny.
2. Learn to be a great writer.
3. Spend 10 years losing your dignity and confidence five minutes at a time in comedy clubs.
4. Promote yourself relentlessly.
5. Develop an hour of material and hope that bookers and audiences like you.
If you can do that, you, too, can make $300 for a night's work, although it isn't really a night's work, more like a lifetime. That's how standup comics do it, and precious few succeed, though more people are actually making a living by doing this than by clicking on online surveys.
Myspace seems to be doing a good job stopping the spammers, as the group was deleted by midday. That didn't stop the spammer from setting up another group and sending me another invite, but that group was also deleted.
It'll be interesting to see how long Myspace can keep the spammers at bay. My guess: Not long. They always seem to find a way. At least I haven't been asked to join the "Help me transfer $10 million from Nigeria" group yet. That would be hard to resist.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Deadlines, Closures, and Such
Pretty holy week coming up for the Christians and the Jews this week. Passover begins on Wednesday, and the Easter celebration starts on Friday. If you haven't ordered something for Easter yet, do it soon. We're closing orders for our Easter specialties at Noon Eastern tomorrow (Tuesday, April 11).
This is another one of those busy shipping cycles, so if you need something by the end of this week, please try to order by Tuesday.
From Wednesday, April 19, through Monday, April 24, we will be unable to deliver products from Steve's Mom Bakery, Bittersweet Pastries (except for the Vanilla and Chocolate Birthday Cakes), and Solomon's Gourmet Cookies. So don't panic if you see a lot of "Out of Stock" labels floating around on the site--those items will be back at the end of the month.
Nothing really to report as far as our Top 10 Sellers are concerned, except for the growing popularity of our Demitasse Party Petits Fours, which were recently featured in both Shop Etc. and In Style magazines.
Chocolate Birthday Cake still has a considerable lead on Vanilla Birthday cake, but as I was breaking down the sales, I noticed that for February and March, Vanilla was outselling Chocolate, save for one week when it seems that half of America needed a chocolate cake. Is it possible that the time of year you're born has some influence on your preference for chocolate or vanilla? Why isn't our government spending our tax dollars to learn this invaluable information? I certainly can't afford it.
This is another one of those busy shipping cycles, so if you need something by the end of this week, please try to order by Tuesday.
From Wednesday, April 19, through Monday, April 24, we will be unable to deliver products from Steve's Mom Bakery, Bittersweet Pastries (except for the Vanilla and Chocolate Birthday Cakes), and Solomon's Gourmet Cookies. So don't panic if you see a lot of "Out of Stock" labels floating around on the site--those items will be back at the end of the month.
Nothing really to report as far as our Top 10 Sellers are concerned, except for the growing popularity of our Demitasse Party Petits Fours, which were recently featured in both Shop Etc. and In Style magazines.
Chocolate Birthday Cake still has a considerable lead on Vanilla Birthday cake, but as I was breaking down the sales, I noticed that for February and March, Vanilla was outselling Chocolate, save for one week when it seems that half of America needed a chocolate cake. Is it possible that the time of year you're born has some influence on your preference for chocolate or vanilla? Why isn't our government spending our tax dollars to learn this invaluable information? I certainly can't afford it.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The New Deceivers
There are two truths about new technology:
1. It won't work the way it's supposed to.
2. Someone will find a way to use it to deceive people.
In the past, I've exposed the Free Shipping Phonies and the Dubious Discounters, and today I'd like to add the Customer Confusers to the list, in the form of shopping.com, who don't get a link because they're a bunch of hooligans.
Shopping.com is basically a giant pay-per-click (PPC) shopping site that tries to recruit online businesses to be listed in their directory. If they can't get a popular site legitimately, they're apparently not above doing an end-run to deceive people into visiting their site. This gets a little tricky, so pay close attention.
Google provides two outstanding online services: AdWords, for my money the best PPC value online, and AdSense. AdWords lets you create those little ads that you see to the right of your search results. AdSense lets you run AdWords ads on your site and get a commission every time somebody clicks on them. There are people online attempting to make a living off Google's AdSense by creating gateway pages for popular search phrases and filling them with AdSense ads. They're called "Scrapers," and they're universally loathed by people looking for actual information online, because their sites contain no content.
Shopping.com has developed a variant of the Scraper tactic. If you search for 1-800-Bakery in Google, you'll see a Shopping.com ad. I've said this before, but I'll be as specific here as possible:
We are not affiliated with Shopping.com.
What they've done is created a search gateway page linked to our domain name. When you click the link, you're shown some products from our competitors (that will cost more than what we offer) and our AdWords ad, among others. No matter what you click, shopping.com gets a commission. Never mind that you're confused as to where you are, they're making money by leeching off our domain name.
I tried to solve this problem with an AdWords campaign that said the same thing as the bolded text above. Google won't let me do that, because Shopping.com is trademarked.
If I ever start deceiving people, remind me to trademark my domain name first so that nobody can fight back. In the meantime, I'm sure that shopping.com will be happy to see the phrase, "Who needs a directory?" every time somebody clicks on their AdWords link.
1. It won't work the way it's supposed to.
2. Someone will find a way to use it to deceive people.
In the past, I've exposed the Free Shipping Phonies and the Dubious Discounters, and today I'd like to add the Customer Confusers to the list, in the form of shopping.com, who don't get a link because they're a bunch of hooligans.
Shopping.com is basically a giant pay-per-click (PPC) shopping site that tries to recruit online businesses to be listed in their directory. If they can't get a popular site legitimately, they're apparently not above doing an end-run to deceive people into visiting their site. This gets a little tricky, so pay close attention.
Google provides two outstanding online services: AdWords, for my money the best PPC value online, and AdSense. AdWords lets you create those little ads that you see to the right of your search results. AdSense lets you run AdWords ads on your site and get a commission every time somebody clicks on them. There are people online attempting to make a living off Google's AdSense by creating gateway pages for popular search phrases and filling them with AdSense ads. They're called "Scrapers," and they're universally loathed by people looking for actual information online, because their sites contain no content.
Shopping.com has developed a variant of the Scraper tactic. If you search for 1-800-Bakery in Google, you'll see a Shopping.com ad. I've said this before, but I'll be as specific here as possible:
We are not affiliated with Shopping.com.
What they've done is created a search gateway page linked to our domain name. When you click the link, you're shown some products from our competitors (that will cost more than what we offer) and our AdWords ad, among others. No matter what you click, shopping.com gets a commission. Never mind that you're confused as to where you are, they're making money by leeching off our domain name.
I tried to solve this problem with an AdWords campaign that said the same thing as the bolded text above. Google won't let me do that, because Shopping.com is trademarked.
If I ever start deceiving people, remind me to trademark my domain name first so that nobody can fight back. In the meantime, I'm sure that shopping.com will be happy to see the phrase, "Who needs a directory?" every time somebody clicks on their AdWords link.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Answering a Common Question
Here's the question that's asked the most by folks who call our Customer Service number: "Do you deliver to (insert city or state name here)?"
Yes, we do. As long as it's in the Continental United States, we'll ship it there. We'll even send stuff to Alaska and Hawaii, if you ask, but that's more expensive. I can even recommend a few things that we can ship to Canada, despite the customs delays.
This seems to be a tough concept for people to understand, and to me it's one of those collision points between the world we knew and the world as it exists today. Times were when any place worth inhabiting had a local bakery, and if you needed cookies or bread, you went there. Maybe they offered a regional delivery service, but you'd never expect a cake to travel from one side of the country to the other.
In the new online world, we deliver products from one end of the country to the other every day, but the experience creates an intimacy that makes the process seem local. If I'm in my house ordering croissants on my computer, they must be coming from someplace nearby, right? Not necessarily, but it's a good practice for online retailers to make it feel as if you're doing business with someone who's across town, ready to respond to your needs instantly.
That sense of closeness, combined with the traditional bakery/customer relationship, breeds the shipping question. I'm sure that most if not all of the online bakeries deal with the same question each day. I don't mind answering it, because it tells me that the customer understands that my site is a collection of local bakeries, and not a giant nationwide corporation.
Yes, we do. As long as it's in the Continental United States, we'll ship it there. We'll even send stuff to Alaska and Hawaii, if you ask, but that's more expensive. I can even recommend a few things that we can ship to Canada, despite the customs delays.
This seems to be a tough concept for people to understand, and to me it's one of those collision points between the world we knew and the world as it exists today. Times were when any place worth inhabiting had a local bakery, and if you needed cookies or bread, you went there. Maybe they offered a regional delivery service, but you'd never expect a cake to travel from one side of the country to the other.
In the new online world, we deliver products from one end of the country to the other every day, but the experience creates an intimacy that makes the process seem local. If I'm in my house ordering croissants on my computer, they must be coming from someplace nearby, right? Not necessarily, but it's a good practice for online retailers to make it feel as if you're doing business with someone who's across town, ready to respond to your needs instantly.
That sense of closeness, combined with the traditional bakery/customer relationship, breeds the shipping question. I'm sure that most if not all of the online bakeries deal with the same question each day. I don't mind answering it, because it tells me that the customer understands that my site is a collection of local bakeries, and not a giant nationwide corporation.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Confused? So Am I
And I haven't even started drinking yet. Not to fulfill a stereotype, but it is St. Patrick's Day, and I am Irish, and it's Friday anyway. I'll be enjoying some Guinness before the day is through.
There's two sources of my--and potentially your--confusion. One of them is the nice folks at The Boston Globe. They ran a nice piece on our Swedish Dream Cookies on Wednesday, which they called, "...deliciously old-fashioned." They printed the story on their Web site. They even provided a link. Unfortunately, they didn't put our full URL in the link, so everyone who wanted to learn more about the cookies wound up at bakery.com, which is a supplier of bakery equipment and supplies.
Fortunately for us, the nice folks at bakery.com were kind enough to put a link to the product on the home page. They'll be getting some of those same Swedish Dream cookies for their trouble.
There's two sources of my--and potentially your--confusion. One of them is the nice folks at The Boston Globe. They ran a nice piece on our Swedish Dream Cookies on Wednesday, which they called, "...deliciously old-fashioned." They printed the story on their Web site. They even provided a link. Unfortunately, they didn't put our full URL in the link, so everyone who wanted to learn more about the cookies wound up at bakery.com, which is a supplier of bakery equipment and supplies.
Fortunately for us, the nice folks at bakery.com were kind enough to put a link to the product on the home page. They'll be getting some of those same Swedish Dream cookies for their trouble.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Order Up, Celtics
I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you that if you want to get some St. Patrick's Day Petits Fours or some St. Patrick's Day Mini Cookies, you'd best order them before noon Eastern on Wednesday. After that, they're gone, and no amount of bribery or crying is going to get you any. Get the Fours. They're minty. And chocolate. And that's a good combination.
Like Yahoo! search but can't stand all that stuff on their home page? There's a simpler version available now at search.yahoo.com. Looks suspiciously like Google to me.
And speaking of the big G, could you guys please do something about that Google Desktop ad that sometimes appears in the search results? For years, you guys have been the standard for clean and simple design. Now you've gone and mucked it up with this giant ad that gets in the way of the search navigation at the bottom of the page. Make it a little smaller, at least, or find a better place to put it.
Like Yahoo! search but can't stand all that stuff on their home page? There's a simpler version available now at search.yahoo.com. Looks suspiciously like Google to me.
And speaking of the big G, could you guys please do something about that Google Desktop ad that sometimes appears in the search results? For years, you guys have been the standard for clean and simple design. Now you've gone and mucked it up with this giant ad that gets in the way of the search navigation at the bottom of the page. Make it a little smaller, at least, or find a better place to put it.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Look at How Clever We Are!
It seems the folks who lie about free shipping and can't tell the difference between "cakes" and "cake" thought it would be cute to buy our domain name in AdWords and Yahoo! Search Marketing. Either that or they thought it would be some brilliant new marketing concept, as follows:
IDIOT 1
They're one of the most popular sites for cakes. Let's buy their domain name.
IDIOT 2
Wow! What a great idea! When's the IPO? We're gonna be rich!
Of course, the single-cake site trying to compete with us is like Woot! trying to compete with BestBuy, with one major exception: Woot! runs a different product every day and delivers some amazing values to its customers. The single-cake site offers...well...a cake...and some kind of e-mail thing, which is probably a terrific value if you're one of the five people who's online but doesn't have e-mail.
To say I was annoyed when I saw them coming up for my domain name would be accurate. To say I was annoyed enough to complain about Google, Yahoo!, and MSN yesterday would be entirely accurate. To the credit of all three of those companies, Google got the problem fixed within a day--and sent a nice e-mail explaining that things were busy--and Yahoo! and MSN set a new processing speed record by having my ads up in less than 24 hours. I'm impressed with all of you, but Yahoo!'s interface still needs a major redesign.
The reason I was annoyed is because decent people don't buy their competitors' brand name. Chevy doesn't buy Ford. Wal-Mart doesn't buy Sears. Hershey doesn't buy Godiva. Partly its a matter of being polite, and partly its a matter of not wasting marketing dollars. If a customer is searching for Chevy, they probably don't want to hear Ford's sales pitch. That customer is searching for the brand, not generically trolling for a car. Inserting your ads at that point is at best confusing and at worst a deliberate deception.
So the single-cake site forced my hand, and I bought the domain name and its variations as a keyword. And because I think turnabout is fair play, I bought their domain name as a keyword too. The funny thing is, once my ads appeared, theirs vanished.
I suppose it's only fair, and far less hypocritical of me, to stop advertising on their domain name. As I look at my schedule, I can see a lot of work that needs to get done. Add in the processing time for Yahoo! and MSN...and the ads should be gone by this time next week. Which, coincidentally, is how long they were squatting in our space.
I think I caught USABIrthdays hanging around in there too. For the record, guys, I refer our customers to you when they ask for something that we don't have. I'd like to continue doing that, but only if you play nice.
And as for you, shopping.com, you know full well that we don't sell through your site, although some of our AdWords campaigns appear there. You're buying our domain on a technicality, and if needed, I'll be happy to point out how we're beating your prices.
IDIOT 1
They're one of the most popular sites for cakes. Let's buy their domain name.
IDIOT 2
Wow! What a great idea! When's the IPO? We're gonna be rich!
Of course, the single-cake site trying to compete with us is like Woot! trying to compete with BestBuy, with one major exception: Woot! runs a different product every day and delivers some amazing values to its customers. The single-cake site offers...well...a cake...and some kind of e-mail thing, which is probably a terrific value if you're one of the five people who's online but doesn't have e-mail.
To say I was annoyed when I saw them coming up for my domain name would be accurate. To say I was annoyed enough to complain about Google, Yahoo!, and MSN yesterday would be entirely accurate. To the credit of all three of those companies, Google got the problem fixed within a day--and sent a nice e-mail explaining that things were busy--and Yahoo! and MSN set a new processing speed record by having my ads up in less than 24 hours. I'm impressed with all of you, but Yahoo!'s interface still needs a major redesign.
The reason I was annoyed is because decent people don't buy their competitors' brand name. Chevy doesn't buy Ford. Wal-Mart doesn't buy Sears. Hershey doesn't buy Godiva. Partly its a matter of being polite, and partly its a matter of not wasting marketing dollars. If a customer is searching for Chevy, they probably don't want to hear Ford's sales pitch. That customer is searching for the brand, not generically trolling for a car. Inserting your ads at that point is at best confusing and at worst a deliberate deception.
So the single-cake site forced my hand, and I bought the domain name and its variations as a keyword. And because I think turnabout is fair play, I bought their domain name as a keyword too. The funny thing is, once my ads appeared, theirs vanished.
I suppose it's only fair, and far less hypocritical of me, to stop advertising on their domain name. As I look at my schedule, I can see a lot of work that needs to get done. Add in the processing time for Yahoo! and MSN...and the ads should be gone by this time next week. Which, coincidentally, is how long they were squatting in our space.
I think I caught USABIrthdays hanging around in there too. For the record, guys, I refer our customers to you when they ask for something that we don't have. I'd like to continue doing that, but only if you play nice.
And as for you, shopping.com, you know full well that we don't sell through your site, although some of our AdWords campaigns appear there. You're buying our domain on a technicality, and if needed, I'll be happy to point out how we're beating your prices.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Searching for Solutions
I love Google. Nice folks, good service. Most of the time. I'm a bit annoyed, though, when automatic filters in AdWords thwart my marketing attempts.
Case in point: Yesterday I created a new campaign because I noticed some liars in a place where I don't want them to be. During the ad creation process, I got an error message along the following lines: "Google AdWords does not allow superlatives. Please remove them from your copy."
The "superlative" in question is the number 1 in 1-800-Bakery.com. I filled out the exemption form as usual, explaining the reason for the 1 being there, and expected the usual swift processing of my ad.
After 24 hours, I'm still waiting. And I doubt I'm alone, given the large number of "1-800," "best," "fastest," and "finest" domain names out there. I'm assuming that the huge volume of AdWords ads is slowing the editorial response time at Google, but some feedback, any feedback, would be nice. Something along the lines of, "Please allow 2-3 business days for review."
Or, if you really wanted to solve the problem, just turn that filter off in the Display URL field, because what you're essentially doing is telling a host of advertisers that they're second-class citizens because Google doesn't like their domain names.
They're still doing a much better job than MSN's AdCenter, which can take up to three weeks to approve PPC ads. I've submitted time-sensitive ads to them only to have the holiday pass before the ad was approved. I know things take time, but this is the Internet, and customers expect a quick turnaround. If it's going to take the better part of a month for an ad to go live, let the users know so we can plan ahead.
I'd be remiss if I didn't slam Yahoo Search Marketing while I'm at it. These guys need to spend some time reading Jakob Neilsen and redesign the entire interface. Figuring out how to navigate their site is like trying to find a number-two washer at Home Depot--I know what I need is here somewhere, but there's no easy way to get to it, and all the employees have gone on break.
There's my suggestions to the Big Three search engines. Now my suggestion to you: Microsoft is debuting its new Live Search at www.live.com. There's some interesting attempts to reinvent the search engine wheel here, and I like the idea of having all the results on a single page that can be scrolled instead of having to wade through pages and pages of results.
Case in point: Yesterday I created a new campaign because I noticed some liars in a place where I don't want them to be. During the ad creation process, I got an error message along the following lines: "Google AdWords does not allow superlatives. Please remove them from your copy."
The "superlative" in question is the number 1 in 1-800-Bakery.com. I filled out the exemption form as usual, explaining the reason for the 1 being there, and expected the usual swift processing of my ad.
After 24 hours, I'm still waiting. And I doubt I'm alone, given the large number of "1-800," "best," "fastest," and "finest" domain names out there. I'm assuming that the huge volume of AdWords ads is slowing the editorial response time at Google, but some feedback, any feedback, would be nice. Something along the lines of, "Please allow 2-3 business days for review."
Or, if you really wanted to solve the problem, just turn that filter off in the Display URL field, because what you're essentially doing is telling a host of advertisers that they're second-class citizens because Google doesn't like their domain names.
They're still doing a much better job than MSN's AdCenter, which can take up to three weeks to approve PPC ads. I've submitted time-sensitive ads to them only to have the holiday pass before the ad was approved. I know things take time, but this is the Internet, and customers expect a quick turnaround. If it's going to take the better part of a month for an ad to go live, let the users know so we can plan ahead.
I'd be remiss if I didn't slam Yahoo Search Marketing while I'm at it. These guys need to spend some time reading Jakob Neilsen and redesign the entire interface. Figuring out how to navigate their site is like trying to find a number-two washer at Home Depot--I know what I need is here somewhere, but there's no easy way to get to it, and all the employees have gone on break.
There's my suggestions to the Big Three search engines. Now my suggestion to you: Microsoft is debuting its new Live Search at www.live.com. There's some interesting attempts to reinvent the search engine wheel here, and I like the idea of having all the results on a single page that can be scrolled instead of having to wade through pages and pages of results.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Singing the Out of Stock Blues
I'm happy to report that King Cakes are back in stock, but there's a bit of a hitch: We can only ship them on Thursday and Friday for the near future. Randazzo's Camelia City Bakery had a Mardi Gras demand far more successful than anything they--or we--anticipated. They spent a week in the bakery sleeping in two-hour shifts to keep up with the demand, so they're going to take it easy for a little while. I can't say I blame them.
Petits Fours Critters will be back by the week of March 20, and the Chocolate Petits Fours and Assorted Petits Fours will likely return by the end of the month. Once that happens, we'll have everything back in stock for the first time since last November. In case you're wondering, we sometimes need to discontinue a regular product for a while to make room for seasonal specialties, and none of our bakery partners are in the habit of baking a ton of stuff and freezing it just to have it around. We want what you order to be fresh, and that means certain products can be out of stock for a while.
So what's moving and shaking on 1-800-Bakery.com? Here's another peek at our Top 10 Products:
Petits Fours Critters will be back by the week of March 20, and the Chocolate Petits Fours and Assorted Petits Fours will likely return by the end of the month. Once that happens, we'll have everything back in stock for the first time since last November. In case you're wondering, we sometimes need to discontinue a regular product for a while to make room for seasonal specialties, and none of our bakery partners are in the habit of baking a ton of stuff and freezing it just to have it around. We want what you order to be fresh, and that means certain products can be out of stock for a while.
So what's moving and shaking on 1-800-Bakery.com? Here's another peek at our Top 10 Products:
- Chocolate Birthday Cake (Complete Party Kit)--last year it took this cake nine months to knock Stollen out of the top spot. This year, it reclaimed its title in three months. Interestingly, our birthday cake sales dropped dramatically in December, the same time that Stollen were selling as fast as we could bake them. I guess you December babies are getting cheated out of a cake.
- Stollen--we'll be making these until Easter, in case you're wondering.
- Vanilla Birthday Cake (Complete Party Kit)--this will never beat the chocolate cake unless there's a serious effort made by you vanilla fans out there.
- Croissants: All Butter and Handmade--thanks, Oprah. Every time you mention croissants, our orders go up.
- Baby Boston Coffee Cakes
- King Cake--not bad for a product that went out of stock the Wednesday before Mardi Gras. Demand continues to be high, so these could break into the Top 5 soon.
- Sugar Free Low Carb Flourless Chocolate Cake--so many things missing, yet still so yummy. It's cousin, the Sugar Free Marble Cake, is all the way down at #13.
- Cinnamon Walnut Coffee Cake--coffee cake sales have been slow since the start of the year, which seems odd to me, since I assume people drink more coffee during the cold months.
- Demitasse Party Petits Fours--they're small and delicious, and they're getting a boost by being in stock. We sell a lot of petits fours, but since we offer several varieties, the sales get spread out among them all. This assortment is my favorite of them all.
- Gourmet Cookies Gift Assortment--there's been a recent surge in orders for these, and like the Croissants, they're one of our exclusives. I'm happy to see so many people discovering them, because they're outstanding cookies. They're running neck-and-neck with the Lemon Lulu Cake for the #10 position.
Finally today, since I'm already fielding questions about this, be sure to get your Irish Soda Bread orders in by this Friday. We'll be taking orders later than that, but I won't know how much later until the end of the week, when we have a chance to see how busy things are. Like the King Cakes, Soda Bread is baked fresh to order, so there's a limit to how much of it we can sell.
Not one of my more entertaining posts, but filled with information you can use as you make your online baked goods buying decisions. I'll be more entertaining tomorrow, I promise. I've actually got a couple of fun things to talk about this week
Thursday, March 02, 2006
And Now, the Announcement You've Been Waiting For...
Gosh, I'm excited. This is a big one, one that I've been working on since about last September. I'm very pleased to announce that 1-800-Bakery.com now has Eggless Cakes available for purchase, in your choice of three flavors. They're not just eggless, either, they're 100% vegan, so everyone who's been avoiding cake because of animal products can now order and enjoy.
And as you might remember from a post last week, they're delicious. That's the something tasty that was sitting on my desk, and I'm not kidding. I'm one of the biggest carnivores around, and I'd be happy to have birthday candles stuck in a nice tenderloin. I'd also be very happy to get one of these cakes. Layers of cake alternate with heavenly layers of icing.
These cakes are made for us by the Hippie Chick Bakery of Amesbury, Massachusetts, a small town out in the western part of our fair Commonwealth. I'm expecting a big response to these, as they're perfect for folks with egg allergies as well as those who don't like animal products in their food.
Speaking of eggs, the eBay Auction for the birdflu.org domain name has now reached $15,000, and it's reserve, so some lucky surfer is going home with a gift-wrapped URL. Given the potential of the pandemic to kill millions, I think $15,000 is a pretty low reserve. Whoever gets this could clear that in AdSense revenue each month once the news organizations start pressing the panic button and everyone heads to their browsers for more information. A couple of good SEO tweaks and someone's riding the Web bus to moneyland.
If you feel left out, there's still time to place a bid, as the auction doesn't close for another day. Don't have 15 grand lying around? Place your bid for www.avian-flu-online.com, which just appeared on eBay and is selling for a paltry .49p, with no reserve. The Londoner auctioning the name assures that it is "@@@******EXTREMELY RARE - WORTH THOUSANDS!!!********@@@," and I'm not one to argue with that many stars and @ symbols. How rare is it? Well there is only one, and that's about as rare as it gets. Is anyone going to type that looking for information about Avian Flu? Sure they are, right after those deposed Nigerian generals make good on their wire transfers of millions of dollars.
Meanwhile, in what can only be called a brazen and brilliant marketing move, somebody bought the www.ie7.com domain, and it's not Microsoft. Click the link for a work-safe laugh. Then order an eggless cake.
And as you might remember from a post last week, they're delicious. That's the something tasty that was sitting on my desk, and I'm not kidding. I'm one of the biggest carnivores around, and I'd be happy to have birthday candles stuck in a nice tenderloin. I'd also be very happy to get one of these cakes. Layers of cake alternate with heavenly layers of icing.
These cakes are made for us by the Hippie Chick Bakery of Amesbury, Massachusetts, a small town out in the western part of our fair Commonwealth. I'm expecting a big response to these, as they're perfect for folks with egg allergies as well as those who don't like animal products in their food.
Speaking of eggs, the eBay Auction for the birdflu.org domain name has now reached $15,000, and it's reserve, so some lucky surfer is going home with a gift-wrapped URL. Given the potential of the pandemic to kill millions, I think $15,000 is a pretty low reserve. Whoever gets this could clear that in AdSense revenue each month once the news organizations start pressing the panic button and everyone heads to their browsers for more information. A couple of good SEO tweaks and someone's riding the Web bus to moneyland.
If you feel left out, there's still time to place a bid, as the auction doesn't close for another day. Don't have 15 grand lying around? Place your bid for www.avian-flu-online.com, which just appeared on eBay and is selling for a paltry .49p, with no reserve. The Londoner auctioning the name assures that it is "@@@******EXTREMELY RARE - WORTH THOUSANDS!!!********@@@," and I'm not one to argue with that many stars and @ symbols. How rare is it? Well there is only one, and that's about as rare as it gets. Is anyone going to type that looking for information about Avian Flu? Sure they are, right after those deposed Nigerian generals make good on their wire transfers of millions of dollars.
Meanwhile, in what can only be called a brazen and brilliant marketing move, somebody bought the www.ie7.com domain, and it's not Microsoft. Click the link for a work-safe laugh. Then order an eggless cake.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
How NOT to Use AdWords
Everyone loves Google AdWords. If you run an online business and you know what you're doing, it's a cost-effective, not to mention very effective, form of advertising. MSN and Yahoo aren't bad, but AdWords is king.
Where else, after all, can you lie about offering free shipping for pennies a click, only to lure customers in with the promise of "cakes" and offer only one kind of cake? There's hours of fun to be had.
Sometimes, though, it goes too far. As you probably know, "bird flu" is a popular search term these days. Any time a search term gets popular, advertisers want to jump on it. Eight pages worth of advertisers, in this case, offering everything from respiratory masks to advice for businesses on how to deal with an outbreak.
Then there's this ad:
Bird Flu
Whatever you're looking for
you can get it on eBay.
www.ebay.com
Order now and we'll rush vials of HN51 straight to your door! Only $59.95 with PayPal! Check my Rating! L@@K!
Not quite what they had in mind, I'm sure. The AdWords link actually takes you to a list of bird-flu-related products, including a number of books about why you should be terrified, some pills that may assuage your fears, and T-shirts for those who prefer to laugh at fate with the words, "Bird Flu! Run for your damn life!" beneath a silhouette of a man running from what appears to be the silhouette of a hawk, or perhaps an eagle.
There's also someone offering to sell the domain name www.birdflu.org, described as the "Best domain name for BIRD FLU!!" As of this writing, it's up to 12 bids, with a top bid of $14,100. The seller is also offering free gift wrapping on this item. I don't know how you'd wrap a domain name, but if you're imagining the gift wrap, that is free, so I'll keep the seller off my list of liars for the moment.
Incidentally, the reserve for this domain name has not yet been met. I'll keep an eye on this auction over the next two days and see if it gets there.
So the eBay ad is true, if unsettling, and folks should really think about how they phrase their AdWords copy. You won't lure a lot of customers with the promise of bird flu.
There's also a couple of other conclusions I can draw.
First, Dick Cheney was doing his part to control the spread of bird flu until, as usual, a lawyer got in the way.
Second, no crisis is so severe that someone, somewhere, won't try to make a buck off of it.
Where else, after all, can you lie about offering free shipping for pennies a click, only to lure customers in with the promise of "cakes" and offer only one kind of cake? There's hours of fun to be had.
Sometimes, though, it goes too far. As you probably know, "bird flu" is a popular search term these days. Any time a search term gets popular, advertisers want to jump on it. Eight pages worth of advertisers, in this case, offering everything from respiratory masks to advice for businesses on how to deal with an outbreak.
Then there's this ad:
Bird Flu
Whatever you're looking for
you can get it on eBay.
www.ebay.com
Order now and we'll rush vials of HN51 straight to your door! Only $59.95 with PayPal! Check my Rating! L@@K!
Not quite what they had in mind, I'm sure. The AdWords link actually takes you to a list of bird-flu-related products, including a number of books about why you should be terrified, some pills that may assuage your fears, and T-shirts for those who prefer to laugh at fate with the words, "Bird Flu! Run for your damn life!" beneath a silhouette of a man running from what appears to be the silhouette of a hawk, or perhaps an eagle.
There's also someone offering to sell the domain name www.birdflu.org, described as the "Best domain name for BIRD FLU!!" As of this writing, it's up to 12 bids, with a top bid of $14,100. The seller is also offering free gift wrapping on this item. I don't know how you'd wrap a domain name, but if you're imagining the gift wrap, that is free, so I'll keep the seller off my list of liars for the moment.
Incidentally, the reserve for this domain name has not yet been met. I'll keep an eye on this auction over the next two days and see if it gets there.
So the eBay ad is true, if unsettling, and folks should really think about how they phrase their AdWords copy. You won't lure a lot of customers with the promise of bird flu.
There's also a couple of other conclusions I can draw.
First, Dick Cheney was doing his part to control the spread of bird flu until, as usual, a lawyer got in the way.
Second, no crisis is so severe that someone, somewhere, won't try to make a buck off of it.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Deal or No Deal?
Everyone loves to find something on sale. I'm a Filene's Basement veteran myself, and I've participated in a lot of conversations that go something like this:
"Hey there, acquaintance or family member. That's a spiffy new article of clothing you've got there. It must have cost a bundle."
"Actually, I got it at The Basement. It was originally $250, but I got it for $35. Sure, it's slightly irregular and the sleeves keep falling off, but I'll just keep sewing them back on."
I don't mean to malign The Basement. They actually sell good stuff, and an astute shopper can find some great bargains in there. Unfortunately, there are those among us who would seek to exploit my--and your--thrifty nature with pricing shenanigans that place them in the dimly lit corner of the Online Liars.
Yesterday, I talked about the Free Shipping Phonies. Today, I'd like to expose their equally nefarious cousins, the Dubious Discounters. These online hooligans post fake "list prices," then offer what looks like a steep discount to make you think you're getting a bargain. You're not, you're just being fed a lie along with the cake you ordered.
There's a certain site out there that's selling cakes that are eerily similar to the cakes we carry. I won't name names this time out of respect to one of our partner bakeries, but the hooligans know who they are. Their catalog pages offer a "list price" for each cake they sell, which is then crossed out with another price published beneath it. In red, next to that lower price, are the words, "You save $4.00." At least they don't punctuate their lies with exclamation points, but putting them in red is a pretty close second.
If you bought the same Chocolate Satin Cake from us, you'd actually be saving almost a dollar over their price, including shipping, or almost $5 over their fictional "list price." So we're cheaper than they are, and we don't lie to you.
We could do the same thing, of course. List our cakes at $50 a piece and claim fictional savings, but I like sleeping at night.
The practice of fictional list pricing reached a head in retail jewlery sales in Massachusetts a couple of years ago, when several stores were offering savings of "up to 80%." The Attorney General's office caught wise to this deception, and demanded that the following language be included in such advertising: "List price reflects a price at which offers may or may not have been made." In other words, they had to admit that the products may never have been sold at the "list price," which makes the discount fictional. Someday the forces of fair play will catch up to these practices online, until then, buyer beware.
So how can you tell if a discount is genuine? Shop around. I regularly check our competitors to make sure we're giving you the best possible price. If you know what things cost to begin with, you can spot a real bargain. Overstock and Woot are both the real deal. Efendos, which claims "free shipping" is not. They're charging more than we are for cakes, and we just adjusted our prices to reflect the higher fuel surcharges we pay for shipping.
Whoops--did I just say that? Yes I did. We raised our prices a little on some of our products to reflect higher shipping and ingredient costs. And if those fuel surcharges go away, we'll lower our prices, because we're committed to giving you the best possible value for your dollar.
Some folks lie to make you think you're getting a deal. We actually give you one.
"Hey there, acquaintance or family member. That's a spiffy new article of clothing you've got there. It must have cost a bundle."
"Actually, I got it at The Basement. It was originally $250, but I got it for $35. Sure, it's slightly irregular and the sleeves keep falling off, but I'll just keep sewing them back on."
I don't mean to malign The Basement. They actually sell good stuff, and an astute shopper can find some great bargains in there. Unfortunately, there are those among us who would seek to exploit my--and your--thrifty nature with pricing shenanigans that place them in the dimly lit corner of the Online Liars.
Yesterday, I talked about the Free Shipping Phonies. Today, I'd like to expose their equally nefarious cousins, the Dubious Discounters. These online hooligans post fake "list prices," then offer what looks like a steep discount to make you think you're getting a bargain. You're not, you're just being fed a lie along with the cake you ordered.
There's a certain site out there that's selling cakes that are eerily similar to the cakes we carry. I won't name names this time out of respect to one of our partner bakeries, but the hooligans know who they are. Their catalog pages offer a "list price" for each cake they sell, which is then crossed out with another price published beneath it. In red, next to that lower price, are the words, "You save $4.00." At least they don't punctuate their lies with exclamation points, but putting them in red is a pretty close second.
If you bought the same Chocolate Satin Cake from us, you'd actually be saving almost a dollar over their price, including shipping, or almost $5 over their fictional "list price." So we're cheaper than they are, and we don't lie to you.
We could do the same thing, of course. List our cakes at $50 a piece and claim fictional savings, but I like sleeping at night.
The practice of fictional list pricing reached a head in retail jewlery sales in Massachusetts a couple of years ago, when several stores were offering savings of "up to 80%." The Attorney General's office caught wise to this deception, and demanded that the following language be included in such advertising: "List price reflects a price at which offers may or may not have been made." In other words, they had to admit that the products may never have been sold at the "list price," which makes the discount fictional. Someday the forces of fair play will catch up to these practices online, until then, buyer beware.
So how can you tell if a discount is genuine? Shop around. I regularly check our competitors to make sure we're giving you the best possible price. If you know what things cost to begin with, you can spot a real bargain. Overstock and Woot are both the real deal. Efendos, which claims "free shipping" is not. They're charging more than we are for cakes, and we just adjusted our prices to reflect the higher fuel surcharges we pay for shipping.
Whoops--did I just say that? Yes I did. We raised our prices a little on some of our products to reflect higher shipping and ingredient costs. And if those fuel surcharges go away, we'll lower our prices, because we're committed to giving you the best possible value for your dollar.
Some folks lie to make you think you're getting a deal. We actually give you one.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Lie Cake Lie
I don't like liars. I don't think they're the sort of people that one should do business with. Yet liars persist in this online world, as a Google Search of "overnight cake delivery" will attest.
There's one company lying to you in its ads, and one that's not. I'm sure you can figure out who's who and what the lie is, but for the record, one more time:
There is no such thing as free shipping.
Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you and playing on your vulnerable desire to get a bargain. They'll probably try to convince you that there's only one flavor of cake in the world, too.
I'd like to know what happened to truth in advertising. Oh, right, this is the Internet, and there's a lot of shady characters around here, some of whom have actual marketing budgets. I'm tempted to buy an AdWords ad that reads,
Liars, liars, liars
Admit that you pay for shipping
On overnight cake delivery
Listen, I could charge $65 a cake or $75 a cake, hide the shipping costs, and tell you that it's free too. I could also tell you that I'm eleven feet tall with a moustache made of solid platinum and Razor scooters where my feet should be, and that I use my increased mobility and bullet-proof upper lip to battle crime every night as Platinum-Razor Man. Wouldn't make it true.
Do you really think a cake costs sixty bucks? Doesn't it seem like there's some additional charges hidden in there somewhere? Wouldn't you prefer a little more honesty in your life?
At the very least, I consider claims of "free" shipping to be very unethical. At worst, it's an outright lie, and when you put it in your ads with exclamation points, you're lying, plain and simple. I couldn't sleep at night knowing that I was lying to my customers, but I guess some people can.
There's one company lying to you in its ads, and one that's not. I'm sure you can figure out who's who and what the lie is, but for the record, one more time:
There is no such thing as free shipping.
Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you and playing on your vulnerable desire to get a bargain. They'll probably try to convince you that there's only one flavor of cake in the world, too.
I'd like to know what happened to truth in advertising. Oh, right, this is the Internet, and there's a lot of shady characters around here, some of whom have actual marketing budgets. I'm tempted to buy an AdWords ad that reads,
Liars, liars, liars
Admit that you pay for shipping
On overnight cake delivery
Listen, I could charge $65 a cake or $75 a cake, hide the shipping costs, and tell you that it's free too. I could also tell you that I'm eleven feet tall with a moustache made of solid platinum and Razor scooters where my feet should be, and that I use my increased mobility and bullet-proof upper lip to battle crime every night as Platinum-Razor Man. Wouldn't make it true.
Do you really think a cake costs sixty bucks? Doesn't it seem like there's some additional charges hidden in there somewhere? Wouldn't you prefer a little more honesty in your life?
At the very least, I consider claims of "free" shipping to be very unethical. At worst, it's an outright lie, and when you put it in your ads with exclamation points, you're lying, plain and simple. I couldn't sleep at night knowing that I was lying to my customers, but I guess some people can.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Tasty Surprise in Store
I just tasted something delicious. Something that you, lucky reader, will be able to order off our site in a couple of days. Something that you won't believe is so delicious when you know what it is.
"Yeah, so stop hyping and tell me what it is already."
Please give me another day or two as I deal with the amazing volume of orders for King Cakes, which have sold faster than anything we've ever offered on the site. Just how fast have they sold? Let's take a look at our Top 10 Products, shall we?
"Yeah, so stop hyping and tell me what it is already."
Please give me another day or two as I deal with the amazing volume of orders for King Cakes, which have sold faster than anything we've ever offered on the site. Just how fast have they sold? Let's take a look at our Top 10 Products, shall we?
- Stollen--sells like crazy at Christmas. It'll be #2 by next week.
- Chocolate Birthday Cake (Complete Party Kit)
- Vanilla Birthday Cake (Complete Party Kit)
- Croissants
- Baby Boston Coffee Cakes
- Sugar-Free Low-Carb Flourless Chocolate Cake
- Cinnamon Walnut Coffee Cake
- King Cake (will be #7 by tomorrow, and we moved a ton of those Coffee Cakes at Christmas)
- Gourmet Cookies Gift Assortment
- Demitasse Party Petits Fours
For reference, the Stollen has been available from the first day the site launched. King Cakes debuted in late January. It's good to see the cakes selling well, especially since it's helping Randazzo's rebuild their business. We talked to Tricia today, and her husband hasn't slept in a couple of days as they process the orders.
If you'd like to order one, we're accepting orders until Noon Eastern tomorrow, February 23. I'd said 2PM, but I had to move it back. Please note that we cannot guarantee a delivery date at this time, but all orders received by noon tomorrow will arrive before Mardi Gras.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Random Monday Thoughts
"Random Monday Thoughts." I might make this a new feature on the blog. We'll see. I just figured that since most folks have today off, I could mail in the segues and just write a bunch of unrelated stuff that wouldn't rate as a full post by itself. So here goes.
- Telephone Tips: Believe it or not, your calls are important to us. Really. We like talking with our customers and helping them get what they need. Sometimes we get busy, or it's midnight and we're not here, and you'll get our voicemail. If you do, please make sure to leave a 10-digit phone number where we can reach you during the day. Don't assume that we know your area code, and don't leave more than 10 digits, as we don't know which 10 to choose.
And if you don't hear back from us, please call us back instead of telling everyone you know that we have lousy customer service. We want to call you back, but we can't if we don't understand your phone number. - Blogger was down on Friday afternoon, which is why I never got to my other big announcement last week. I'm not getting to it today, either, because sending out information on a Monday holiday is like putting a billboard on top of Mount Everest.
- Sometimes our packages show up early. It happened at Christmas, and it happened again last week. Why? Our friends at UPS have a policy of moving things as fast as they can during the busy times, and Valentine's is second only to Christmas for shipping. We do our best to get things there on the day you specify, but we are at the mercy of our shipping partners. I'll throw a nod to a competitor who shall remain nameless for turning this occasional event into a bonus. In their shipping information, they say, "May arrive early at no extra charge." That's good marketing.
- Buy a King Cake, but do it soon. We're closing orders for these on Thursday, if not sooner. Remember that you'll be helping a Louisiana bakery recover with each purchase. I'm thrilled with the response so far from our customers, who have moved the King Cakes into our Top-10 products faster than anything we've ever offered on the site.
- Finally, it seems that NBC is lamenting poor ratings for the Torino Olympics. I'll give you three reasons why they're down: First, the lackluster performance of Team USA, especially on the ski slopes, where it's like watching a train wreck. Then again, Americans love watching train wrecks, so that's only part of the problem.
Second, the fact that we know the results before the broadcast. That always cripples the ratings for an overseas Olympics. Would you rather watch Bode Miller when you know he's been disqualified or watch the always unpredictable American Idol? I'd rather watch the Olympics, but I've got to go out of my way to avoid the coverage.
Third, too damn many commercials. Those "Life takes Visa" spots have become such a pervasive nuisance that I'm reaching for the remote at the first sign of a break. More than once I've seen NBC come out of a commercial break, run about two minutes of coverage, and then go back to commercials. There's too many breaks, and too many repeats of the same ads. If I wasn't going to buy a Chevy the first 7 times I saw the ad during the Opening Ceremonies, I'm not going to buy one now. In fact, I'm so annoyed that I won't buy one ever, and I may even tell my friends not to buy them, in the hope that they run out of advertising dollars so I can enjoy two-man bobsleigh without screaming at the TV every time I hear the Olympic theme played on car horns.
The incessant advertising has made watching the games a chore. Couple that with already knowing the day's results, and you've got a healthy audience for "House" over on Fox. NBC would do well to follow the "less is more" rule and give us 15-minute blocks of programming with higher-priced commercial breaks in between. IF Chevy and Visa want to buy all the spots, let them sponsor the night. Fox did that successfully with Ford for a couple of "24" premieres.
Just stop ambushing us with the same ads over and over again. It's like going to one of those "salespeople on commission" stores and having people jump at you with sales pitch every time you turn a corner. I don't shop in those stores.
And I'm not watching those Olympic commercial breaks, but I'm trying to watch the games themselves. I guess that puts me in the minority.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Are You in The Zone?
Firstly, if you're looking to get a King Cake for February 27 or 28, order it now. As in tomorrow, if not sooner. I spoke to Tricia down at Randazzo's today, and they're nearing the cutoff for orders delivered on Mardi Gras. If you want one for any other day next week, no problem. I'm likely going to cut off Mardi Gras delivery at 5PM Eastern tomorrow, so if you're on the fence, it's time to act.
On to the real question of the day: Are You in The Zone? I'm not talking about Atkins, but rather UPS Zone 1, which encompasses New England, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Washington, D.C. If you're living in one of those areas, or you care about someone who does, you can send them some delicious Hurley's Irish Soda Bread, or even some Irish Soda Crisps, for five bucks. It's just like getting "FREE" shipping, only you pay five bucks. That's still pretty goshdarn cheap when you consider how much you'd pay in gas to get from Washington, D.C. to Boston to find some Soda Bread at retail.
How do we do it? We must be insane. Or using UPS Ground shipping, which delivers in two days to anyplace within Zone 1. If you're outside of Zone 1, shipping is $15, but you'd pay a lot more in gas, and probably need a hotel, to get to Boston. Plus you'd likely want to do some touristy things while you're here, and now you're way over that $15. You'd be lucky to get a trolley ticket for $15, and they wouldn't give you any Soda Bread. Of course, we have a separate charge for the Soda Bread, but trust me when I tell you that no amount of money waved a Boston Trolley driver is going to get you baked goods.
The upshot of this whole thing is that you get a darn good deal on shipping no matter where you live, but if you're in the Northeast, you've got an extra-good deal, one that may even make shoveling snow worth the effort. At least, if you like Soda Bread.
The downside on all of this is that there's no more Express Shipping on our Soda Bread. I don't expect much heartache here, because in the two years we've offered this product, only a couple of people have had such desparate Soda Bread cravings that they paid for Express Shipping.
If you really need Soda Bread that bad, call me, and I'll hook you up. But before you call me, I suggest some deep reflection on the choices you've made in life that led you to this overwhelming need.
On to the real question of the day: Are You in The Zone? I'm not talking about Atkins, but rather UPS Zone 1, which encompasses New England, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Washington, D.C. If you're living in one of those areas, or you care about someone who does, you can send them some delicious Hurley's Irish Soda Bread, or even some Irish Soda Crisps, for five bucks. It's just like getting "FREE" shipping, only you pay five bucks. That's still pretty goshdarn cheap when you consider how much you'd pay in gas to get from Washington, D.C. to Boston to find some Soda Bread at retail.
How do we do it? We must be insane. Or using UPS Ground shipping, which delivers in two days to anyplace within Zone 1. If you're outside of Zone 1, shipping is $15, but you'd pay a lot more in gas, and probably need a hotel, to get to Boston. Plus you'd likely want to do some touristy things while you're here, and now you're way over that $15. You'd be lucky to get a trolley ticket for $15, and they wouldn't give you any Soda Bread. Of course, we have a separate charge for the Soda Bread, but trust me when I tell you that no amount of money waved a Boston Trolley driver is going to get you baked goods.
The upshot of this whole thing is that you get a darn good deal on shipping no matter where you live, but if you're in the Northeast, you've got an extra-good deal, one that may even make shoveling snow worth the effort. At least, if you like Soda Bread.
The downside on all of this is that there's no more Express Shipping on our Soda Bread. I don't expect much heartache here, because in the two years we've offered this product, only a couple of people have had such desparate Soda Bread cravings that they paid for Express Shipping.
If you really need Soda Bread that bad, call me, and I'll hook you up. But before you call me, I suggest some deep reflection on the choices you've made in life that led you to this overwhelming need.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Feed Our Troops
I'm looking for some folks who'd like to help with an experiment: I get a lot of requests for APO/FPO shipping to Iraq, and it just so happens that our Biscotti can handle the trip. We've sent some over there already, but I'd like to send some more, just so I know all the ins and outs of shipping to the front lines.
If you've got a loved one in Iraq or Afghanistan and you'd like to send them a treat, please call our Customer Service number and let me know. I'll waive all the shipping charges, so you'll get actual, real, free shipping, not the fake "FREE" shipping offered by sites that can't figure out that the singular of "cakes" is "cake," and when you only offer one cake, you really should use it.
Our money-back guarantee is in effect for this experiment, so if the biscotti fail to arrive or the recipient doesn't like them, there's no charge to you. I'd say the best part of this deal is that you don't have to fill out the pages and pages of paperwork that it takes to ship overseas.
In other news, because you'll notice this, we've stopped carrying Chocolate Dipped Strawberries. Why? We're going to be adding more bakeries and products to the site in the coming weeks. As the number of products goes up, it gets harder for customers to find what they're looking for.
We've always meant to be a bakery site. That means a lot of internal wrangling about what our customers expect. At La Patisserie, for example, we've got a chocolate dipper here three days a week, a deli counter, soup, and gourmet cheese and pate along with the breads, cakes, cookies, and croissants. There aren't a lot of lunch places or gourmet shops around us, so it makes sense to carry those other items.
Online it's a different world. The gourmet or chocolate shop is just a click or two away, so it doesn't make as much sense for us to carry a lot of items that aren't baked. Chocolate Dipped Strawberries fall into that category. We still stand behind the product and the company--if you'd like some, please visit Berry Gourmet--but we'd rather keep a narrow focus and concentrate on finding the best baked goods in America.
And we wouldn't remove one product line without adding another, but you'll have to stay tuned for those details.
If you've got a loved one in Iraq or Afghanistan and you'd like to send them a treat, please call our Customer Service number and let me know. I'll waive all the shipping charges, so you'll get actual, real, free shipping, not the fake "FREE" shipping offered by sites that can't figure out that the singular of "cakes" is "cake," and when you only offer one cake, you really should use it.
Our money-back guarantee is in effect for this experiment, so if the biscotti fail to arrive or the recipient doesn't like them, there's no charge to you. I'd say the best part of this deal is that you don't have to fill out the pages and pages of paperwork that it takes to ship overseas.
In other news, because you'll notice this, we've stopped carrying Chocolate Dipped Strawberries. Why? We're going to be adding more bakeries and products to the site in the coming weeks. As the number of products goes up, it gets harder for customers to find what they're looking for.
We've always meant to be a bakery site. That means a lot of internal wrangling about what our customers expect. At La Patisserie, for example, we've got a chocolate dipper here three days a week, a deli counter, soup, and gourmet cheese and pate along with the breads, cakes, cookies, and croissants. There aren't a lot of lunch places or gourmet shops around us, so it makes sense to carry those other items.
Online it's a different world. The gourmet or chocolate shop is just a click or two away, so it doesn't make as much sense for us to carry a lot of items that aren't baked. Chocolate Dipped Strawberries fall into that category. We still stand behind the product and the company--if you'd like some, please visit Berry Gourmet--but we'd rather keep a narrow focus and concentrate on finding the best baked goods in America.
And we wouldn't remove one product line without adding another, but you'll have to stay tuned for those details.
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