When Marketing Attacks

Note to the good folks over at Snapple: Check the weather report before you try to erect the world's largest frozen treat. If I'm not mistaken, this is the largest dessert-related disaster to hit a major city since molasses spilled across Boston's North End back in 1919. Nobody was hurt in New York, but some witnesses reported that Snapple spokesgal Wendy was seen floating away in a strawberry-kiwi river.

Meanwhile, our friends at the FDA are close to giving food and milk from cloned animals the go-ahead for consumer sales. I'll confess that I find the concept of cloned food, or food from the descendants of cloned animals, rather unappetizing. With the trend toward organic foods increasing in America, it'll be interesting to see how they market this stuff.

I just hope they don't use those damn dancing popups that appear on the Financial Times site. If you use Yahoo! Mail, you've seen them there as well. These are the "next generation popups" that appear in the same window and get in the way of the content by placing themselves on top of it.

The theory seems to be that we won't mind waiting a few seconds to look at an ad before we read what's on the page. The theory is garbage, and you can prove it yourself with this little experiment:

First, find a magazine and cut out a full-page ad. For best results, choose an ad for mortgage refinancing or prescription medication.

Next, find someone who's reading a newspaper. Family members will do, but for maximum effect, choose a complete stranger on the train or at the local Starbucks.

Wait until your victim--er, subject--turns the page in the newspaper. Reach over the top of the newspaper, and wave the ad over the page for a few seconds. Repeat each time the page is turned, or until the authorities are called.

Armed with the results of your research, sit up all night wondering who thought these ads were a good idea, and why reputable Web sites were foolish enough to allow them. When you give up in frustration (and you will), vow to stop using sites that display these ads.