Still no sign of that Raspberry Buttercreme at Gocakego.com. When will our long national nightmare be over? How can a people who have feasted on the variety of 300 beverage choices at 7-Eleven reconcile a business that offers only one choice of cake, just because they want it in a green box with "FREE" shipping?
Since I'd rather you didn't starve to death waiting for the green box to show with a Raspberry Buttercreme, might I suggest some Silver Label Cookies from Solomon's? They're a new addition to our site, and they're gooooood. Really, really gooooood. A lot of cookies cross my desk over the course of a year, and these truly wowed me. I can't use competitors names or superlatives on the site, but if you asked me in person for my opinion of these cookies, I'd tell you that they're the "Well-known gourmet chocolates that come in a gold ballotin of cookies." God, I've a hankering for some of those cookies right now.
Did you get your Valentine a present yet? Me either, but that's not an example you should follow. With 12 days to go, you should try to get your order in soon. Most retailers don't complain about it, but Valentine's is one of our busier seasons.
Just don't give your Valentine flowers. I mean, come on, flowers? You're getting raked over the coals for those roses, and she would much rather be surprised with roses on a random Tuesday than get the obligatory Valentine's dozen. I could never understand why we express our undying love with something that wilts in a few days. Must be a guy thing.
Give a single rose, if you must invoke the floral tradition, then think outside the box. Go over to our Seasonal Treats page and pick out some cookies or petits fours. Your Valentine will be surprised, and you'll get a cookie or petits four as a reward for being so thoughtful. Just try taking one of those roses home and see what happens.
"But Derek," you're saying, "How can you expect me to pay those overnight shipping charges to get the stuff there on Tuesday?" Hey, if you really loved your Valentine, cost would be no object, but since you're probably down a few bucks from feeding Exxon's record profits, here's some money-saving advice:
Order the gifts for delivery on February 10. Pop the petits fours or the cake in the fridge, and they'll be nice and fresh for Valentine's Day. Order by 2PM Eastern on February 8, and you can get Second-Day Air shipping.
Or, if you'd like to get some of the nice mini cookies from Supercookie, order by 2PM on Thursday, February 9, and we'll have them there on Valentine's Day. They ship in sealed tubs, so they'll survive the weekend without losing a bit of their freshness.
Then get your Valentine some jewelry or tickets to a game. Please stop buying the novelty boxers with hearts on them. They're disturbing.
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