Stop Cyberbullying, Not Free Speech

I've written enough about good and bad online behavior that I feel compelled to weigh in on the Kathy Sierra situation and the ill-advised "stop blogging until someone does something about this" crusade that's been unleashed on the blogosphere.

For those who don't know, Kathy Sierra is a talented software designer and writer who's become the victim of some truly heinous threats on her blog. She went public about the threats and her fear of them, and that's led some other bloggers to decide to go dark to protest the poor behavior of a few miscreants.

This, of course, is a bad idea. The only thing accomplished by everyone jumping on the Sierra blackout bandwagon is to empower the attention-seeking lowlifes who posted the comments in the first place. From their anonymous accounts, they've now sent a shudder through the blogging community, and they're probably bragging with glee about how powerful they are.

This is why you don't feed trolls. They're like Freddy Krueger. If you ignore them, turn your back on them, you take their power away. If you confront them, you embolden them. It's that simple. Every blog that goes dark just contributes to the aggregate success these self-important idiots now feel.

It gets worse when the news media sums up the campaign by saying, "Fellow bloggers have declared tomorrow 'Stop Cyberbullying Day.' They will suspend their online journals, hoping to focus attention on the dark side of free speech. " The dark side of free speech? Maybe we should do away with this "free speech," seeing as it's so dark and destructive. Maybe David Louie, who penned this repugnant line, ought to go practice his journalism in China, where he'll have much less free speech to worry about.

Yet Mr. Louie is not alone in his opinion. Bloggers and readers are calling for "something to be done." That something is, no matter how you look at it, censorship, and it's worth noting that Ms. Sierra's distress stems not just from comments on her blog, but things posted on other blogs as well, so the scope reaches beyond simply deleting inappropriate comments from one's own blog, which any author is free to do. What's being said by a few is that this sort of behavior, anywhere, on any blog, ought to be stopped.

This is that slippery slope we keep hearing about. I agree that the posts in question have no place in civilized discourse, and that the people behind them should be shunned, banned from posting on other people's blogs, and paid visits by law enforcement if their threats cause undue distress. At the same time, Ms. Sierra needs to understand that she, like all prominent bloggers, is a public figure, and one of the "perks" of being a public figure is having irrational people threaten you, stalk you, and, in extreme cases, attempt to do you harm. There's no shortage of celebrities who have to deal with this. It's the price paid for stepping into the spotlight.

Stalkers are best handled through law enforcement. Cyberbullies are best handled through marginalization and shunning, not any sort of agreed-upon "standards of behavior" that limit free expression. And bloggers serve their purposes best by writing about what's happening and inviting discussion, not by going dark in protest.

Online Ordering Tips

One of the nice things about the Internets is the way it allows e-tailers like us to automate things. Things like copying addresses into our shipping software. This frees up large amounts of valuable time that can be used goofing around on the Webs, say at The 365 Days Project.

The downside to all this automation is that it makes it easier for your orders to get messed up if you don't type them in properly. I've noticed a few bad habits that have crept in over the last few months, and as we prepare to launch a more automated order processing system, I thought I'd share some advice for online shoppers that will help your order get where it belongs, whether you're ordering from us or someone else.

1. Disable the Autofill function on Internet Explorer. It's a security risk, and it has a bad habit of putting information in the wrong places.
2. Never put apartment or suite information on the same line as the street address. Use "Address 1" or "Street" fields for the street and number, and use "Address 2" or "Apt." fields for Apartment, Suite, Floor, Building, or Internal Routing numbers. If you put them both on the same line, the second part of the address could be cut off when it gets sent to the shipping software, or devoured by the program that translates the Web data to the proper format for the shipping software. Either way, you've got a package going to an apartment and no apartment number, so it doesn't arrive on time.
3. Always include the state. Yes, some of us have fancy softwares that fill in the state based on the ZIP Code. Some of us don't have those fancy softwares. Some data-conversion programs throw out any address that doesn't include the state, because that's read as missing or incomplete data. Your order doesn't get shipped on time when this happens.
4. Always provide a daytime phone number where you can be reached. While I wouldn't recommend this for every site, at 1-800-Bakery.com, we only use them if we have a question about your order or if there's a delivery problem. In 9 cases out of 10, if we can reach you as soon as we know that UPS or FedEx can't find the address, we can get the package there that day.

Finally, here's an uber-secret tip that skilled shippers know: UPS and FedEx use their discretion when it comes to leaving packages, even if the signature is waived. If the recipient lives in an apartment building with a locked front door, or a house with a locked front gate, the package will not be left behind if it's at street level or in a high-traffic area. A rash of package thefts in an area will also cause our shippers to keep packages on the truck, but this is rare and tends to happen only around Christmas.

In this case, UPS and FedEx will leave a note for the recipient with instructions on how to pick up the package. Almost everything we ship will survive that extra day in transit, but you might wind up missing a birthday or special occasion by a day. If you know the recipient lives somewhere without a safe place to leave a package, try to have it arrive a day early and avoid Friday deliveries of our most perishable items, such as cakes, mousses, and breads.

Advantage: Basket

Before you firm up those Easter gift-giving plans, let me remind you that we're about a week out from the annual admonitions against giving kids bunnies and chicks as Easter presents. I can see the bunnies, but I'm not sure who's giving the chicks, or why they don't understand that these will someday grow up to be chickens, which are far less friendly and fuzzy.

Instead of giving something that will run up a recurring food bill and make a mess of the house, give a nice Easter Basket. They're traditional, they've got loads of tasty candy in them, and some of them even come with plush animals that won't shed or leave things that need cleaning up behind.

And if you order one from our Easter Gifts page between now and the Friday before Easter, you'll be able to get ground shipping for just $5--less than you'd pay for a 25-pound bag of Purina Rabbit Chow. Probably less than you'd pay to feed that chick for a month, not that I know what they eat since Purina doesn't have Chicken Chow, but you know they'll be eating a lot more of it soon when they're not pecking holes in the legs of your chairs.

So, to recap your gift options:

Bunny: Quiet, but sheddy and expensive
Chick: Crows at dawn (if male), leaves eggs around house (if female), pecks when irritated
Basket: Silent, no hidden costs, less risk of household damage (beware of melted chocolate on rug)

I'd say the Easter Basket wins.

Irish This Up for Me

St. Patrick's Day is next Saturday. It falls an hour earlier this year, thanks to that change in Daylight Savings Time that I've already mentioned.

Not what you'd call a major bakery holiday, certainly not on par with Christmas or Valentine's Day, but we do have lots of Irish Soda Bread made by our friend Sean Hurley. It's the closest thing to genuine Irish Soda Bread you'll find on these shores short of importing it from the Emerald Isle, which will take much more than a week, so you won't have it on St. Patrick's Day, and everyone will mock you.

We've also got something brand new to the site this year, Irish Whiskey Cake made with plenty of chocolate chunks, green Maraschino cherries, and Jamieson's Irish Whiskey. I've had many a debate with bartenders over whether it should be spelled "Whisky" or "Whiskey," but either way it goes great with chocolate. And cake. And Maraschino cherries.

We've been selling this cake here at the bakery for several years, and it's always a big seller, so we thought we'd share it with all you nice folks out there in Internets land, so long as you live in the continental United States. It may not be soaked in Jamieson's, but there's a good chance that it can ease the pain come Sunday morning, should Saturday night find you wearing the green into the wee hours.

Are We Saving Yet?

In case you hadn't heard, Daylight Savings Time starts on Sunday, March 11, a good three weeks earlier than it has since 1986. This, we are told by Congress, will unleash hitherto undreamt-of savings for the American people as we frolic in the extra hour of daylight at the end of each day for three glorious additional weeks.

It must have been a very slow day at Congress when they dreamed this up. Now that they can't build useless bridges anymore, they're forced to torment us with time changes to idle away the hours spent stuck in session on Capitol Hill. Anyone who thought about this would recognize two immediate problems:

1. We'll have to turn the lights on when we're getting ready for work in the morning, because it will be dark, even though it was light this week.

2. Computers can't handle this.

That second one is the bugaboo for businesses, such as ours. We won't get a dime in energy savings, because the lights and computers are on in the office anyway, as they are in every office where I've ever worked. What we do get is an IT bill to keep our Calendar working, which, at the moment, it isn't, at least as far as March 12 is concerned.

You see, every computer-driven device sold in North America has an internal clock. This clock has Daylight Savings Time programmed into it, so that it automatically changes on the first Sunday in April. This year, that's happening on the second Sunday in March, and since the computer's clock doesn't know that, someone has to write a bit of code to tell it what time it is.

The server that runs 1-800-Bakery.com also needs the script to make our Calendar work and enforce the 2PM Eastern Time order cutoff. Unfortunately for us, the new daylight savings time script and the Calendar aren't getting along too well, so the Calendar thinks that you can have cakes delivered on March 12. You can't, because the cakes would melt in the back of the delivery truck over the weekend. Our server doesn't know that, either, and it wouldn't care anyway, since it's a server and cares little for the fate of cake.

As a result, I've had to deactivate March 12 as a delivery date, which has the following unpleasant consequences: You can't place an order for March 13 and orders for March 14 have to be shipped Overnight, thanks to the rules of the Calendar. In reality, none of this is true. We can ship on the 13th and the 14th is available at the Second-Day Air rate, but if you want to do that, you'll need to either--

A. Wait until after 2PM Eastern Friday to place your order,
B. Read these instructions on how to place your order for any of the offending days, or
C. Join us in praying that our dev team can fix the problem at their not-insignificant hourly rate, which we wouldn't have to pay if Congress hadn't mucked around with daylight savings time in the first place

You can always call our Customer Service line at 1-800-287-9870 if you're still confused. Call your congressional representatives, too, and thank them for all the extra work they're making for us. At least the sun will be out when the dust settles on Monday.